IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are university students who prefer another
subject
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 their core subjects.
while
Linking Words
 others believe that focusing on the main
subject
Use synonyms
 leads to our entire goal. Both approaches, each with its own advantages and disadvantages. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will examine these two ideas and share my perspective. On the one hand, Those who advocate learning another
subject
Use synonyms
 with their main
subject
Use synonyms
 believe that increasing their mental power
as well as
Linking Words
 their ability.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a student who is interested in cricket who can be able to do their career. Every student wants to achieve success in their life. Sometimes can be harmful to choose the wrong categories. and which can affect their future life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Students believe that focusing on the main
subject
Use synonyms
 might become to own excellent personality. Core
subject
Use synonyms
 leads to strong creativity, choice and ideas.
For example
Linking Words
, we do not have general thought to create an entire world, because our capacity is required.
According to
Linking Words
 Janzen,
this
Linking Words
 affects the ability to understand and relate in typical ways to people. genetic
subject
Use synonyms
 causes our mental sources.
Moreover
Linking Words
, believing in another
subject
Use synonyms
 can be difficult for our future students. In conclusion, giving importance to one
subject
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial. sometimes it can be harmful to future generations. In my opinion, there are good aspects
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 interested in one
subject
Use synonyms
 rather than
other subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
another subject
show examples
.
Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but needs clearer argumentation and structure. Each paragraph should clearly present one main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on introducing your topics and concluding your essay more effectively. Your introduction should clearly present the essay topic and your thesis statement, while your conclusion should succinctly sum up your arguments and restate your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Under the coherence and cohesion criterion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices. This can help to better connect your ideas and make your writing flow more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Try to include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples provided should be directly linked to the argument you are making and should be detailed enough to clarify and strengthen your position.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: