IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In your letter: • suggest how you could help her in her home • say why you would like to do this work • explain when you will and will not be available Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………….,

#mrs #barrett #woman #lives #town #someone #home #hours #summer #work
Dear Mrs. Barrett, I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health. My name is John Monta, and I am writing in response to your advertisement seeking a house helper in The City Times Newspaper. I want to express my keen interest in
this
 opportunity. My previous experience matches your requirements, and
this
 makes me
perfect
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a perfect
the perfect
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 fit for
this
 job. I can help you
in
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with
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 cleaning, laundry, gardening,
dusting
Correct word choice
and dusting
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.
Moreover
, I can cook an afternoon meal for you and your family. Please consider that I have worked in a hotel for four years;
as a result
, I have good knowledge of maintaining the standards. I would love to do
this
 job, as helping others to reduce their workload gives me
an
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apply
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another level of satisfaction.
Additionally
, I am planning to buy a small apartment,
Correct word choice
and earnings
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earnings
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and earnings
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 from
this
 job would be helpful for my savings. Eventually, It will be beneficial for both of us. I would prefer to work
in
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on
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 weekdays, as I would like to spend my weekends with my husband and two children.
However
, we can adjust the timing
according to
 your convenience. I am looking forward to discussing
this
further
. Awaiting your response. Yours sincerely, John Monta
Submitted by patel2dhruvil202 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly states the purpose of the letter. In this case, you've done well by introducing your intent right away.
Task Achievement
In the body paragraphs, directly addressing each point listed in the prompt ensures a full response to the task. Consider expanding slightly on how each of your skills and experiences specifically matches Mrs. Barrett's needs for parallelism and depth.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintaining a logical flow between paragraphs improves coherence. You've done this effectively by transitioning smoothly between topics. To enhance, use a wider range of linking words.
Coherence & Cohesion
Segmenting the letter into clear paragraphs for each main idea, as you did, aids readability. To refine further, ensure each paragraph expands sufficiently on its topic without overloading it with ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
The use of an appropriate closing and a formal ending, which is evident in your letter, is essential for maintaining a suitable tone. However, adding 'Mrs.' before the last name in the closing can enhance the formality.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Domestic chores
  • Culinary skills
  • Horticulture
  • Cultural immersion
  • Work ethic
  • Flexible schedule
  • Time management
  • Prior commitments
  • Punctuality
  • Reliability
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