IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to request you to change my
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 because I have ample
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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problems
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 living in the hostel
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 . My name is Jai Verma and I am a student of computer science in your prestige college. Currently, I am in
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 fourth semester and recently, I got recognized by my teacher because I got
first
Change the article
the first

It appears that the phrase first position does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 position in my department. I am
very
Correct article usage
a very

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 determined and decided student simultaneously,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 spectacular and majestic performance
lead
Wrong verb form
led

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb lead. Consider changing it.

show examples
 me to another level of success .
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I want to perform best
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 year but I didn't think
so
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
will
Wrong verb form
would

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will. Consider changing it.

show examples
 be possible. There is a specific reason behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 notion that I shared a
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with four other students and I
am
Wrong verb form
was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb am. Consider changing it.

show examples
 not able to concentrate on my studies
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the situation became convoluted for me due
the
Change preposition
to the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 noise created by other roommates. I would prefer
solo
Add an article
a solo

The noun phrase solo room seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 where no one can create distortion
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it will be easier for me to give my 100% in order to achieve my dreams and make my partners and mentors proud. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jai

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Task Achievement
You have provided a clear introduction and request which is good, however, to enhance task achievement, ensure that each paragraph distinctly addresses a single aspect of the prompt. For instance, distinctly separate your introduction, the description of problems, and your room preference more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on connecting your ideas more smoothly. Try using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases ('Moreover', 'Therefore', 'As a result', etc.) to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter would benefit from a more precise conclusion. Summarize your request succinctly and express your expectation for a positive response. This enhances the logical structure and ties your letter together more cohesively.
Task Achievement
Review and correct minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Aim for precision and conciseness in your expressions. Avoid overly complicated sentences that might distract from your main point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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