You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

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Dear Sir, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to request you to change my

room

Use synonyms

because I have ample

Change preposition

apply

show examples

problems

while

Linking Words

living in the hostel

room

Use synonyms

. My name is Jai Verma and I am a student of computer science in your prestige college. Currently, I am in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

fourth semester and recently, I got recognized by my teacher because I got

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

position in my department. I am

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

determined and decided student simultaneously,

this

Linking Words

spectacular and majestic performance

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

me to another level of success .

However

Linking Words

, I want to perform best

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

year but I didn't think

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be possible. There is a specific reason behind

this

Linking Words

notion that I shared a

room

Use synonyms

with four other students and I

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

not able to concentrate on my studies

hence

Linking Words

, the situation became convoluted for me due

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

noise created by other roommates. I would prefer

solo

Add an article

a solo

show examples

room

Use synonyms

where no one can create distortion

hence

Linking Words

, it will be easier for me to give my 100% in order to achieve my dreams and make my partners and mentors proud. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jai

Kaurharvinder2984Sun Mar 24 2024

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Task Achievement

You have provided a clear introduction and request which is good, however, to enhance task achievement, ensure that each paragraph distinctly addresses a single aspect of the prompt. For instance, distinctly separate your introduction, the description of problems, and your room preference more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on connecting your ideas more smoothly. Try using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases ('Moreover', 'Therefore', 'As a result', etc.) to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter would benefit from a more precise conclusion. Summarize your request succinctly and express your expectation for a positive response. This enhances the logical structure and ties your letter together more cohesively.

Task Achievement

Review and correct minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Aim for precision and conciseness in your expressions. Avoid overly complicated sentences that might distract from your main point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

193 words

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You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree and disagree?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others believe it is a waste of money since people can access the internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both the side and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.