IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts shows how many hours spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates, and all student.

The pie charts shows how many hours spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates, and all student.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
three different pie graphs illustrate information concerning the spending
time
Use synonyms
 in the United Kindom University
library
Use synonyms
 by undergraduates, postgraduates, and all
students
Use synonyms
. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that most
students
Use synonyms
 spent their
time
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
 1 hour to 7
hours
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, postgraduates spend more
time
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
. A cursory glance at the data reveals that 50% of all
students
Use synonyms
 spent 1 to 7
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
 and 35% of
students
Use synonyms
 stayed
library
Use synonyms
 from 8 to 14
hours
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, less than a quarter of
students
Use synonyms
 spent over 15
hours
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another eye-catching trend is that 63% of undergraduates devoted their
time
Use synonyms
 in their school
library
Use synonyms
 1 to 7
hours
Use synonyms
. And spending
time
Use synonyms
 from 8
hours
Use synonyms
 to 16
hours
Use synonyms
 undergraduates proportion was 28% and spent up to 15
hours
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
 merely 9%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, a more detailed look at the
last
Linking Words
 chart reveals that over half
postgrad
Change preposition
of postgrad
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 occupy over 15
hours
Use synonyms
 and about a third (32%) of
students
Use synonyms
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 8 to 14
hours
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, 17% of people stay in the
libraryfor
Correct your spelling
library for
 1to 7
hours
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, library, students, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: