People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focussing on physical appearance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
a person's appearance affects how
others
think about you and the way they view themselves. Nowadays, a huge amount of money is spent on a person's look. I think it consumes a lot of time and money. In this
essay, I will discuss should
Correct word choice
whether should
people
worry about their physical images and the effect it has on them.
firstly
, people
treat others
base
on what they wear, which brand or designer. They Wrong verb form
based
distingush
your social class based on that. Correct your spelling
distinguish
As a result
, people
can buy something they don't need or can even afford in order to feel that they are fit among others
. Secondly
, some people
change how they look, they change their haircut or colour, although
those changes might not match their personality. surely, it doesn't matter how others
think about you as long as you are confident. Therefore
, people
should focus more on what they have, they should embrace themselves, rather than listen to negative comment
.
Thinking of Fix the agreement mistake
comments
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
atitude
can put a huge burden on personal emotions. One Correct your spelling
attitudes
spend
a lot of money on a piece of cloth or jewellery in favour of other basic life needs. Change the verb form
spends
Moreover
, it can lead to serious mental health issues, such
as anxiety or even worse as
depression. Change preposition
apply
For example
, someone stop
eating Change the verb form
stops
as a consequence
of someone saying "You're fat". Others
can even make themselves vomit intentionally if they think that they ate too much.
in conclusion, society should not listen to harsh comments. They should proud
Add a missing verb
be proud
what
they got already. The community must respect Change preposition
of what
different
Correct word choice
apply
others
images and provide support for those who really need to change.Change noun form
others'
other's
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. While you touch on why people might focus on their appearance and some consequences, including more specific examples and a wider range of arguments would strengthen your response. For a higher score, consider both sides of the argument and use real-life examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a basic structure but lacks transitions between ideas, making it less coherent. To improve, use connecting words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more logically from one idea to the next. Also, consider creating a more detailed plan before you start writing to ensure a clear structure is in place.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to accuracy and appropriateness of language. Your essay contains grammatical errors and informal language that detract from its overall clarity and effectiveness. To enhance your score, work on improving your grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range. For instance, pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement, correct usage of articles, and avoiding colloquial expressions. Revising your work for errors before submission can also help.