Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A group of individuals assume that university students should pursue their interests by studying what they prefer,
while
others maintain that they should be forced to study majors that can give the
pros in the future. Correct your spelling
them
For
my point of view, the second idea is the best choice, reasons will be outlined.
On the one hand, it suggested that if students follow what they are interested Change preposition
From
during
education, there is more opportunity to become accomplished. In Change preposition
in during
this
regard, research findings confirm that the efficiency of students who find their field of study satisfactory is nearly twice as much as that of those who are compelled to pursue a major in higher education. Furthermore
, by studying a fond subject, learners face fewer challenges, which give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
motivation
. Correct pronoun usage
them motivation
Thus
, if they faced difficulties, they would pass them and obtain strong credentials. For example
, according to
NU, 80% of their participants, ready
to Add a missing verb
are ready
expend
about 8 hours Verb problem
spend
for
studying, when unappealing results are obtained.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, another group believe that the
governments should enforce strict laws, Correct article usage
apply
as
a Correct word choice
and as
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
bans
studying in certain research areas. It means that they insist that dedicating funds Correct subject-verb agreement
ban
as well as
spending time on some fields, such
as history, is a complete waste of resources and time,
since they fail to improve the next generations’ standards of living. Remove the comma
apply
Nevertheless
, I think that that
it is not Correct word choice
apply
convincing
argument. Add an article
a convincing
For instance
, as it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
believed
in history, is full of valuable life lessons Add a missing verb
is believed
have
been passed through Correct pronoun usage
that have
out
Correct your spelling
our
of
ancestors. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, everybody should take full benefit of it by encouraging young people to gain in-depth knowledge in this
field at universities, which can broaden researchers' horizons to explore unknown domains in the future.
To sum up
, in my view, individuals that
obtain Correct pronoun usage
who
knowledges
from universities should not be restricted to Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
study
only certain fields. Studying beloved subjects not only can boost their performance but Wrong verb form
studying
also
may open the doors to novel discoveries.Submitted by dnm.best on
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Vocabulary
Consider varying your vocabulary more to avoid repetition and make your arguments more impactful.
Examples
Aim for more clarity and precision in your examples. Specific, real-world examples enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Sentence Structure
Pay attention to sentence structure to ensure clarity and readability. Complex sentence structures are excellent but require careful handling to maintain coherence.
Conclusion
Work on developing a clearer, more direct conclusion that succinctly summarizes your viewpoint and the reasons for it.
Task Response
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both perspectives before stating a personal opinion.
Coherence
Good logical flow of ideas, making the essay easy to follow.
Cohesion
You have introduced and concluded your essay effectively, which frames your argument well.