In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
believe that they do not need to improve their education
in bad
economic situation. They believe that Correct article usage
a bad
make
Verb problem
apply
the
needs Change the word
their
merely
Add a missing verb
are merely
solution
for them. Most of them focus on Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
working
state, if they have work and support Correct article usage
the working
their
Change preposition
in their
life
then
improve in education
. In this
situation
they believe that secondary Add a comma
situation,
education
was wasting
time and cost.
But, I directly agree with Wrong verb form
is a waste of
this
issue. In fact, we can find main
relation between unemployment and level of Change the article
the main
education
. In this
era
the most important needs of Add a comma
era,
human
are Fix the agreement mistake
humans
education
after
food and Change preposition
apply
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Correct your spelling
However
How ever
, conditions affect Correct your spelling
However
Change preposition
apply
on
your mind, working and making money encourage individuals to improve themselves to accept new technology or new science. But, when most of the population have no Change preposition
apply
job
which help
them to Change the verb form
helps
life
and Replace the word
live
encourage
them to try for their Change the verb form
encourages
life
it clearly no one want
to improve his or her Change the verb form
wants
education
.
On the other hand
, we can list three important point
in our needs which list here as food, Change to a plural noun
points
job
and Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
education
. If we can provide two of them then
we will expect people
tend to learning
new Change the verb form
learn
thinks
or want to improve the level of their Correct your spelling
things
education
. Namely, job
have Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
main
role in any society that we can explain it as Correct article usage
a main
engine
or heart of anyone.
Correct article usage
the engine
Despite
, when we were working Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
do
to improve ourselves and be happy Unnecessary verb
apply
then
we Rephrase
apply
encounter
Wrong verb form
encountered
with
new Change preposition
apply
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
then
we have
to improve our Wrong verb form
had
study
and knowledge.
In conclusion, Secondary Fix the agreement mistake
studies
education
need
prerequisites that support Change the verb form
needs
people
and evoking
them to learn or improve themselves. In my opinion Verb problem
encourage
job
and education
have Correct article usage
a directly
directly
relation with each other. So, Change the adverb
direct
people
inherent
want to learn and primary and secondary Change the word
inherently
education
that help them during life
time.Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on
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task response
Focus on clearly addressing the prompt in your introduction to provide a clear stance on the topic. Your thesis statement should be explicit and guide the rest of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas more fully with specific examples and explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by detailed evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure coherence by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas between and within paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your position. This strengthens your argument and provides closure.
task response
Check your essay for grammatical errors and improve your sentence structure for clarity. Varied sentence structures can also make your writing more engaging.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.