Some people think that because some students find some subjects such as maths and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extend do you agree?

Although
mandatory
subjects
like
math
and
philosophy
are commonly found in many schools all around the globe, some people perceive that the two lessons should be made optional
due to
their difficulty levels.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
viewpoint because it seems to me that either
math
or
philosophy
are
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is
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essential for honing critical thinking skills
as well as
developing traits that can help them overcome any kind of challenge throughout their lives. First and foremost, learning
math
and
philosophy
can foster one's ability to think critically.
This
is because
students
must use their brains when solving
math
problems or pondering a philosophical question. Regardless of how difficult it is for
students
to solve a single problem in either of these
subjects
, they
are
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apply
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unconsciously
strengthening
Wrong verb form
strengthen
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logic and problem-solving skills as they go, which are beneficial to boosting their performances in other disciplines. With
this
in mind, if
students
are forced to learn
such
subjects
, the great potential for discovery or innovation in many aspects of life can be made possible for the nation's future.
Moreover
, the impact of making
math
and
philosophy
as
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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compulsory
subjects
can enable
students
to acquire positive traits,
such
as resilience and preservation. Looking
from
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at
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my own experience, without studying
math
, I believe I would be the person who easily gives up whenever facing some obstacles in my life. Not only that, learning
philosophy
also
helps me cultivate
confidence
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the confidence
show examples
to speak my mind in a logical way and broaden my perspectives of the world, enabling me to foster a wiser personality. In conclusion, as a firm believer, I suggest that every high school across the nation should take the proposal into serious consideration and implement it into their school agenda.
Submitted by 44sunsets on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Focus on developing a comprehensive introduction and conclusion. Your essay starts and ends abruptly, lacking a conclusive standpoint in the final paragraph. Ensure your introduction sets the context effectively and your conclusion provides a clear and decisive viewpoint.
Complete Response
Make sure to complete your response. Your essay ends abruptly which leaves your argument hanging. An effective essay should have a well-rounded conclusion to summarize your points and reiterate your stance.
Logical Structure
To improve coherence, ensure logical sequencing of ideas. While your essay contains logical ideas, the connection between them could be smoother to enhance the reader's understanding. Consider using more cohesive devices.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
To sharpen your task achievement, ensure all parts of the task are addressed equally. While you argue against making subjects optional effectively, considering viewpoints for making them optional may strengthen your position.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Incorporating more detailed, specific examples could further strengthen your arguments. While your essay delivers general ideas on the benefits of studying math and philosophy, real-world or more specific examples would provide stronger support.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Tailored
  • Well-rounded education
  • Long-term benefit
  • Critical thinking
  • Innovation
  • Curriculum requirements
  • Teaching methods
  • Barrier
  • Discovery
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