The diagram details the process of making wool. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram details the process of making wool. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture shows the procedures by which
wool
is processed and transformed into
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of products.  (
Overall
)Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that processing
wool
involves
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
stages of preparation of the raw source material,
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
stages constituting the production of tufts, and the final stages resulting in yarn and finished consumer products. First of all, the process begins when sheep
wool
is sheared by machine,cleaned very well from any dirty and
then
dried through dried machine. Subsequent to
this
the raw product is spun
accourding
Correct your spelling
according
spinning
Change preposition
to spinning
show examples
tools and
then
either made into a string (with some being recycled as
by product
Add a hyphen
by-product
show examples
) or turned into
wool
.
Final
Add an article
The final
show examples
stage,the
wool
is form
Change the verb form
is formed
show examples
into tufts of
wool
and
then
stored in the store. The
last
steps involve turning the tufts into balls of yarn which can
then
be used for knitting or for fabrication of consumer retail items
such
as jackets and carpets.
Submitted by fatema14mohammed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words wool with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: