IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150
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The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 below shows eight different
groups
Use synonyms
 and how many
hours
Use synonyms
 a week are working and the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 under, the occupation of people suffering from stress,
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 divided
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 eight
groups
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, as it can be seen in the bar
chart
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 and
movie
Use synonyms
 producers work more than others. First of all, the bar
chart
Use synonyms
 shows eight different
groups
Use synonyms
 and how many
hours
Use synonyms
 are
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 a week. Chefs, lecturers, and lawyers are working the least amount of
hours
Use synonyms
, under 40
hours
Use synonyms
 every week. Writers and programmers
are working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 around 45
hours
Use synonyms
approximately
Rephrase
apply
show examples
and exactly 40
hours
Use synonyms
 as
a programmers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a programmer
programmers
show examples
. Moving forward to the
movie
Use synonyms
 producers and
Use synonyms
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
, the amount of
hours
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 at work goes over 50
hours
Use synonyms
 each, 60
hours
Use synonyms
 for a
movie
Use synonyms
 producer and 70
hours
Use synonyms
 for a
Use synonyms
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when
is
Verb problem
it comes
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 stress, programmers, writers and Lawyers, the percentage of stress is under 10 per cent. The most stressful group is lecturing, with 25 per cent,
then
Linking Words
 the other four
groups
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
, doctors, chefs and
movie
Use synonyms
 producers) which are below 20 per cent.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, groups, hours, business, movie with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • analogy
  • correlation
  • data-driven
  • discernible trends
  • discrepancy
  • empirical evidence
  • fluctuations
  • longitudinal study
  • meticulously
  • percentile
  • predominantly
  • quantitative analysis
  • spectrum
  • statistical significance
  • threshold
  • variances
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