Some people think that success in life comes from ard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion
A small number of
individual
believe that working hard and consideration are the Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
life
success
key. While
others just that finance and appearance is
the key to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
get
achieve in Change the verb form
getting
life
. This
author will explain both views and will give my own opinion.
Looking at the worker
who depend on Fix the agreement mistake
workers
try
hard and hard Wrong verb form
trying
working
the achievement that they get will Wrong verb form
work
longer
and stranger than the others. It is conclusion that the most vital characterize that they will get after a long time of working is the huge number of work Add a missing verb
be longer
skill
, Fix the agreement mistake
skills
life
experiment
which can help the worker
solve their job issue in the most rapid way. However
, the lack of money
and achievement are
one of the most Change the verb form
is
Correct word choice
common problem
problem
that can cause a wide range of Change to a plural noun
problems
problem
in the begin time and Fix the agreement mistake
problems
also
in the way of improve
in Replace the word
improvement
job
if the Add an article
the job
a job
worker
have
no talented or beautiful skill
Change the verb form
has
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
look
into the people who believe Wrong verb form
looking
money
and appearance is
the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
life
success
key it can be conclusion
that at the Add an article
a conclusion
the conclusion
begin
Replace the word
beginning
time
the ability Add a comma
time,
of
get Replace the preposition
to
coworker
attraction and improve in Fix the agreement mistake
coworkers
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
are
far higher than the other Change the verb form
is
lead
they can Fix the agreement mistake
leads
get
Verb problem
achieve
life
success
in the most rapid way. However
, if the worker
just depend
on finance, the lack Change the verb form
depends
Change preposition
of experiences
experiences
and work Fix the agreement mistake
experience
skill
are a big trouble Fix the agreement mistake
skills
with
Change preposition
apply
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
lead
to Wrong verb form
leading
this
type of worker
approximately end up with failure when the money
is ran
outWrong verb form
runs
of
.
Change preposition
apply
Conclusion
it can be seen thatChange preposition
In conclusion
,
both of depend on consideration or Remove the comma
apply
money
to success
in life
have their positive and negative face. But this
author approve
Correct subject-verb agreement
approves
with
the first stage which can help us keep and recognize what we get and can love our Change preposition
of
life
achievementSubmitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay discusses both views as instructed, which is good for task achievement. However, your ideas need to be more developed and supported with specific examples to fully address the prompt. Try to include more detailed examples that directly relate to your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from more careful planning to ensure a clear logical progression of ideas. Aim to have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that develop that idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is positive. However, they could be more clearly written to directly address the task and clearly state your opinion. Consider revising them to be more direct and explicit about your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea, and use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas. These can include conjunctions, pronouns, and synonyms to ensure your essay flows naturally from one point to the next.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety in your sentences to make your essay more readable and professional. Errors and awkward phrasing can detract from the clarity of your arguments and reduce the overall effectiveness of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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