IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer.
#graphs #show #figures #hours #stress #levels #professionals #eight #groups #information #university #college #lecturer
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The given graph depicts information
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regarding
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regrading
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regarding
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average
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the averange
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averange
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average
 number of hours worked per week and
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portion
proportion
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the porpotion
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porpotion
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proportion
 of people suffering from stress in eight groups of
amongst
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apply
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professional
Firstly
,
In
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apply
show examples
the bar chart
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
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group
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a group
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 of
business men
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businessmen
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 approximately
worked
Verb problem
apply
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70 per week.
While
group
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a group
the group
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 of
business men
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businessmen
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 worked hard over of all in
this
 graph.
Nontheless
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Nonetheless
, the lowest in
this
 graph
was lectures
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was lectured
was lecturing
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.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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this
group
 has worked around 25
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
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 per week.
In contrast
, the information about suffered from
strss
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stress
 related
illness
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illnesses
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 giving
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of lecturers has a highest around
quarter
Add an article
a quarter
show examples
 in
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart
bacause
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because
 the lecturers have many
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
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 of
work
for
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apply
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responsible
such
 as
reserch
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research
,
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
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 a student and
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 in
laboratary
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laboratory
.
Similaly
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Similarly
,
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a group
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group
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a group
show examples
 of movie producers have
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an illness
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illness
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an illness
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 from
work
 about 18 per cent and have
work
aroud
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around
 60
perweek
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per week
, Though
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a group
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group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of lawyers, writers,chefs, business and
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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 suffer from
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
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Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
Change preposition
at 8
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8
Change preposition
at 8
show examples
%, 8%, 10%, 11% and 15%, respectively.
Submitted by phatkhunnok on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words group, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • analogy
  • correlation
  • data-driven
  • discernible trends
  • discrepancy
  • empirical evidence
  • fluctuations
  • longitudinal study
  • meticulously
  • percentile
  • predominantly
  • quantitative analysis
  • spectrum
  • statistical significance
  • threshold
  • variances
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