IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter of invitation to your parents. In the letter: – Explain that you have completed your studies – Give details of the event, including time, date and dress code – Let them know how many tickets they have and who they are for?

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Respected Parents Hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in your radiant spirit. How is everything going on and what about your health? I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to share
a
Correct determiner usage
some
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 good news. You will be glad to know that I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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completed my Business Management course with flying
colors
Change the spelling
colours
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with
Correct word choice
and with
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3.9
Correct article usage
a 3.9
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 GPA;
due to
Linking Words
 which I
had been
Wrong verb form
was
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 selected for the Dean's Award by the College. I am on cloud nine as my hard work pays off and your dreams for me
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 true. There is a convocation party, that the college has organised at the Markham convention centre on 10 April
,
Remove the comma
apply
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2024. The event will start at 9 am in the morning and the laurels will be distributed at 1 p.m. There is an arrangement of the eatables for morning and evening as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I am going to perform a dance with my class on
punjabi
Change the capitalization
Punjabi
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 music. One thing that needs attention is the dress code which is business formal wear. So, buy clothes for
party
Add an article
the party
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according to
Linking Words
 it, in order to maintain the spirit of
occasion
Add an article
the occasion
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. You will be happy that I have already purchased tickets for both of you and for my younger brother. I have attached the invitation letter, approved by the college for all of you. With great eagerness, just waiting to meet all of you at
this
Linking Words
 great occasion for which we all waited for three years. With love and Respect Yours loving Raman

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Use transitional phrases to smoothly link paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Employ a mix of complex sentences and linking words to improve coherence. This will make the argumentation stronger and the text more unified.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt comprehensively to meet the task requirement fully. Elaborate on each point to provide depth to your response.
task achievement
Adopt a writing tone suitable for the context of the letter. In this case, a mix of formal and semi-formal tones is appropriate, as it's a personal letter to your parents but discusses academic achievements.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accomplishment
  • celebration
  • ceremony
  • decorum
  • exclusive
  • invitations
  • milestone
  • presence
  • significant
  • spirit of the occasion
  • venue
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