Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.

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The topic
whether
Change preposition
of whether
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the attitude of children is the responsibility of parents or it's affected by external factors is very much debatable. The behaviour of
teenagers
Use synonyms
is usually the result of their parent's practice in the house. I do agree that parents should
take
Verb problem
apply
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be accountable for their management as upbringing and
morale
Correct your spelling
moral
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values play an important character in the conduct of
teenagers
Use synonyms
. The
guardian
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guardians
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is
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are
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the ones who
spends
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spend
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the most time with students, they learn all the moral values and discipline from their elders. The elder people act as
a
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apply
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character models for the
teenagers
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who are growing up
therefore
Linking Words
upbringing and environment play an important aspect here.
For instance
Linking Words
both the guardians fight every day and do not respect each other,
this
Linking Words
will eventually be seen in the
action
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actions
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of the student, the youngster might perform the same action in
academy
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the academy
an academy
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or the community. there should be someone accountable and if it's not guardians
then
Linking Words
the school might
also
Linking Words
not
responsible
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be responsible
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for the actions of the student. On the other external factors
also
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play a vital character here,
the
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apply
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nature could
also
Linking Words
affected by the seminary ,community or social media. The second most time usually the minor spends is in
institute
Correct article usage
an institute
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or community. They do learn a
lot
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lot of
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things from there,
for
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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teenagers
Use synonyms
could learn to abuse them from
academy
Add an article
the academy
an academy
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or could get into bad habits which can cause trouble in the attitude of
teenagers
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.
Thus
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these factors are
also
Linking Words
be taken into consideration. In conclusion, the parents are the ones who
is
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are
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accountable for their nature and
thus
Linking Words
accept the responsibility for the attitude of their kid.
Submitted by tarunsharma.ajay on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to provide a more balanced argument with clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Expand on your points with more specific examples and clear explanation of how they support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay more logically. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to outline the main idea. Additionally, improving transitions between ideas will make your argument flow more smoothly.
task achievement
To bolster your argument further, incorporate more relevant and specific examples. These examples should clearly demonstrate the relationship between parental responsibility and children's behavior, and showcase different perspectives for a well-rounded discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • environment
  • instilling
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • influence
  • negate
  • individuality
  • act out
  • external factors
  • peer influence
  • broader societal issues
  • solely
  • community
  • social institutions
  • overly accountable
  • stress
  • unfair blame
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