Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.

The topic
whether
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of whether
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the attitude of children is the responsibility of parents or it's affected by external factors is very much debatable. The behaviour of
teenagers
is usually the result of their parent's practice in the house. I do agree that parents should
take
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apply
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be accountable for their management as upbringing and
morale
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moral
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values play an important character in the conduct of
teenagers
. The
guardian
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guardians
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is
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are
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the ones who
spends
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spend
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the most time with students, they learn all the moral values and discipline from their elders. The elder people act as
a
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apply
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character models for the
teenagers
who are growing up
therefore
upbringing and environment play an important aspect here.
For instance
both the guardians fight every day and do not respect each other,
this
will eventually be seen in the
action
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actions
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of the student, the youngster might perform the same action in
academy
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the academy
an academy
show examples
or the community. there should be someone accountable and if it's not guardians
then
the school might
also
not
responsible
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be responsible
show examples
for the actions of the student. On the other external factors
also
play a vital character here,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature could
also
affected by the seminary ,community or social media. The second most time usually the minor spends is in
institute
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an institute
show examples
or community. They do learn a
lot
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lot of
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things from there,
for
instance
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instance,
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teenagers
could learn to abuse them from
academy
Add an article
the academy
an academy
show examples
or could get into bad habits which can cause trouble in the attitude of
teenagers
.
Thus
these factors are
also
be taken into consideration. In conclusion, the parents are the ones who
is
Change the verb form
are
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accountable for their nature and
thus
accept the responsibility for the attitude of their kid.
Submitted by tarunsharma.ajay on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to provide a more balanced argument with clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Expand on your points with more specific examples and clear explanation of how they support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay more logically. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to outline the main idea. Additionally, improving transitions between ideas will make your argument flow more smoothly.
task achievement
To bolster your argument further, incorporate more relevant and specific examples. These examples should clearly demonstrate the relationship between parental responsibility and children's behavior, and showcase different perspectives for a well-rounded discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • environment
  • instilling
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • influence
  • negate
  • individuality
  • act out
  • external factors
  • peer influence
  • broader societal issues
  • solely
  • community
  • social institutions
  • overly accountable
  • stress
  • unfair blame
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