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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, some food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat locally produced food. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#food #thousands #miles #farms #consumers #people #environment #economy
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Food
 delivery is a hotly debated topic that divides opinion. Some
people
 think it is better for
people
 to eat only regional manufactured
food
. In my opinion, despite the convenience it brings,
people
 should not only eat local
food
. On the one hand, it is admitted that if local
people
 can make the products by themselves, they can save not only money but
also
 a clean environment.
Instead
 of transporting the
food
 on a long road,
people
 can consume the
food
 instantly,
this
 ensures the
food
 quality in a good way.
Furthermore
, if
people
 don't use vehicles, they can save fuel and
this
 leads to our environment being more friendly.
However
, it causes many drawbacks
such
 as
people
 not having adequate nutrients because there are some foods just only
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 in certain areas. Cow milk is an example, it
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
had
Verb problem
used
show examples
 in highlands mountains, and
people
 can not use that milk anywhere if not imported from other regions.
People
 lose the balance of nutrients because the
food
 they put into their bodies is not varied.
Moreover
, if we
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 carry out the process of exchanging foods, the labour market
also
 decreases leading to the country's economy being in recession.
In addition
, environmental pollution comes from many problems, not just the process of exchanging foods.
For example
, the awareness of
people
 is not good, water pollution, soil pollution global warming, etc. In conclusion, despite some disadvantages it brings, the delivery of
food
 still has a huge impact on society, it affects human health a lot, the governments should take a balance between delivering
food
 and protecting the environment
Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on

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task achievement
Introduce a clear thesis statement in your introduction and reiterate your position in your conclusion to strengthen your argument and make it clearer to the reader.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples. This will help to clarify your ideas and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your argument by clearly separating your paragraphs, each focusing on one main idea, and use cohesive devices to link these ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
To avoid general statements, incorporate more detail and depth into your points. This will make your essay more informative and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • locally produced
  • sustainable farming
  • agricultural exports
  • food miles
  • economic sustainability
  • seasonal produce
  • carbon emissions
  • food sovereignty
  • local economy
  • agro-biodiversity
  • supply chain
  • global trade
  • food security
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