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Writing Samples
Band 4

Visits to and from the UK changed from 1979 to 1999

#visits #uk
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The line graph explains how the number of
visits
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 to and from the
UK
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 changed from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by
UK
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residents
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 in 1999.
At
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In
show examples
 the beginning,
visits
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 abroad by
UK
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residents
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 showed a slight increase of almost 10
million
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 from 1979 to 1984.
This
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 was followed by constant growth through the years reaching a significant rise of over 50
million
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 in 1999. Despite both trends starting at around 10
million
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visits
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 to the
UK
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 in 1979 there is a significant difference between them.
In contrast
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 to
visits
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 abroad by
UK
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residents
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,
visits
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 to the
UK
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 by overseas
residents
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 reached a lower growth of almost 30
million
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 in 1999. The bar graph shows that the most popular country to visit was France with around 11
million
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 in 1999.
In contrast
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 to France, Turkey had the lowest
visits
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 with around 2
million
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 in the same year.
Submitted by Pilar on

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Task Achievement
For task achievement, try to fully address the prompt by providing a comparison or analysis of the trends over the years rather than just describing them. This can include mentioning key milestones or shifts in the data, and explaining potential reasons or implications of these trends.
Coherence
Improve coherence by creating clearer connections between your ideas. Use a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between sentences and paragraphs. For example, to indicate a rising trend, consider phrases like 'subsequently', 'thereafter', or 'leading to'.
Cohesion
For cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support or elaborate on that idea. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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