Q: Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#q #people #work #organization #life #organizations

People

have two choices regarding their place to

work

, either to stay at one

company

work

for different

companies

along the way.

While

they think it is better to

work

for the same organization, I believe

workers

should try different organizations in their working

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. On the one hand, working for one

company

can pose a challenge.

Firstly

people

tend to resist since they are in their comfort zone.

For instance

workers

may refuse to learn digital technology because they already feel comfortable doing jobs in a traditional way. It can happen

due to

workers

' lack of perspective.

Although

company

may offer career promotions, in fact, there are many cases where

workers

stay in their positions until their retirement.

On the other hand

, if

people

work

for different

companies

throughout their working life, it can bring benefits for them.

To begin

with, they can gain a wide range of experience.

As a result

, they become open to different perspectives and improve themselves continuously.

Moreover

, working in different

companies

can help

people

to broaden their networking as they meet many

people

in many organizations. In conclusion, it is true that working for the same

company

or different

companies

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

being debated nowadays.

Therefore

, I, on balance, believe that it is better for

people

to try working for many

companies

in the long run.

Submitted by mmmuuu on Wed Mar 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. However, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.

coherence cohesion

You've effectively linked paragraphs using suitable connectors. To further improve, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and check for their appropriate use in context.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task directly, presenting a clear position that is maintained throughout the essay. For an even stronger response, aim to develop your arguments further with more detailed examples and explanations.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This could take the form of real-world examples or hypothetical situations that closely relate to the prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Q: Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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There is an increase in the number of parents choosing educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?