Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation

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These days, there are some developments in space exploration.

However

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, some argue that it is a waste of

money

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and that

governments

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should invest in other properties for national benefits. I completely agree with

this

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opinion. In

this

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essay, I will discuss

this

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opinion and why I believe that it is better for

governments

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to spend

money

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on other things. Some

people

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think that with the development of space searching, we can

also

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proceed with other kinds of technologies. But the problem is there are population is decreasing and it will be a waste of time if humans using those technologies

will

Verb problem

apply

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disappeare

Correct your spelling

disappear

disappeared

Then

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, I believe that we need to solve the birthrate decreasing problem first.

For example

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governments

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should make more kinder gardens to let

people

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have babies easily. Recently, Many couples have been working and they tend to hesitate to have kids because of the less kinder garden. If

governments

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produce more places to take care of

children

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people

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can have more

children

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In addition

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governments

Use synonyms

also

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give

children

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more allowance. It needs a large amount of

money

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grow

Verb problem

raise

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even only one

children

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up. Today, many young

people

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do not get enough income and they cannot afford to pay for their

children

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. In short, poverty is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

severe problem and one of the causes of decreasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

birthrate, so

governments

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must spend

money

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on it. In conclusion, there is a decrease in population so I believe that the first thing to do is tackle

this

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before

invest

Change the verb form

investing

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

exploration space. It is not too late after

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

solve

this

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difficulty.

Submitted by mayu1022.p on Wed Mar 27 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure coherence by effectively organizing your essay into paragraphs, each addressing a specific point related to the topic. Consider connecting your ideas more clearly through transitions for improved flow.

Task Achievement

Begin your essay with a clearer introduction of the topic and your stance. Include a thesis statement that summarizes your main points.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points with more specific and relevant examples. Expand on your arguments, explaining how they directly relate to the question and your stance.

General

Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by carefully proofreading. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

complete waste
benefit the nation
technological advancements
foster
international cooperation
inspire
engage
boost the economy
long-term benefits

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Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that parents should limit their children’s time to watch TV and play computer games and encourage them to read books. Do you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?