IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager, in your letter: Describe the training course you want to do Explain what the company could do to help you Say how the course will be useful for your job

#work #company #advertisement #course #job #manager #describe #explain #say
Dear sir, I am Amirhossein, head of
planning
Correct article usage
the planning
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descipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
, I have been working for
you
Change the pronoun
your
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 organization
more
Change preposition
for more
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 than 15 years. I writing
this
 letter to inform you about
training
Correct article usage
the training
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coursea
Correct your spelling
courses
course
 about new methods in planning that will be held next month in Hotel A. the cost of
evet
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event
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 is 200 $ per person , I want you to support me
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 subject.
On the other hand
,
this
 course will help personnel in
jobsatisfaction
Correct your spelling
job satisfaction
 and enhance their knowledge that
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 us to improve organization revenue.
due to
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
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 I want to
participant
Replace the word
participate
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 workshop and after that teach it to the body of
company
Add an article
the company
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.
Hence
, the organization can keep abreast of their body in
this
 manner.I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that your prompt accept my application to improve
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 company I
am look
Change the verb form
am looking
show examples
 forward to hearing from you. yours sincerely Amirhossein
Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on

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General Advice
Ensure to proofread your letter to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will make your letter more professional and easier to understand.
Task Achievement
Provide a clearer and more detailed description of the training course, including its name, what specific planning methods it will cover, and how these methods are relevant to your current projects or responsibilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs to organize your letter better. Each paragraph should focus on a single point: introduction and what you are writing about, details about the course, how the company can help, and how the course will be beneficial to your job and the company.
Greeting and Closing
Sign off with a more conventional closing, such as 'Yours faithfully' if you did not use the manager's name, or 'Yours sincerely' if you did. This adds a professional touch to your letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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