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Band 6

the charts below show what uk graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the charts below show what uk graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
the charts show
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
graduate
 and postgraduate students who did not go into full-life
work
 did after leaving college in 2008.
overall
,in 2008,
number
 of
graduate
 students’
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work
 was 17735, voluntary
work
 was 3500,it was the lowest one.
Further
study
 was 29665. it was the greatest.
Lastly
,
unemployment
 was 16235.
Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of postgraduate students’ part-time
work
 was 2535, voluntary
work
 was 345,
further
study
 was 2725 and
unemployment
 was 1625. Looking at the details,
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 charts, it was really different.
number
 of
graduate
 students’
further
study
 was 29665.
Whereas
 postgraduate students’
further
study
 was 2725. there was
really
Add an article
a really
the really
show examples
 big difference.
Graduate
 students’ voluntary
work
 was 3500,
number
 of postgraduate students’ was 345. These two
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the least of the charts.
Graduate
 students’ part-time
work
 was 17735,
postgraduate
Correct word choice
and postgraduate
show examples
 students’ part-time
work
 was 2535.
Lastly
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first chart,
unemployment
 was 16235.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 second chart,
unemployment
 was 1625.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, lastly, whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, work, number, students’, study, unemployment with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼

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