Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Music
plays an important role in society
, also
it one
of the Add a missing verb
is one
form
of Change to a plural noun
forms
an
entertainment. Some artists explain their ideas or talk about social Remove the article
apply
problems
in music
. People
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
music
to take the
rest and visit Correct article usage
a
concerts
as social
activity. Add an article
a social
In the
essay explained how Change preposition
The
music
can play important
role in Correct article usage
an important
society
and also
be an
entertainment.
Remove the article
apply
Concerts
and music
festival
are part of social life. Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
For instance
, people
go to concerts
with company for
spend time together or alone to meet someone. A genre Change preposition
to
it
can be Correct pronoun usage
apply
point
of common interest of Add an article
the point
a point
people
group. Correct article usage
a people
Moreover
, concert
Correct article usage
a concert
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
wonderful
place Add an article
a wonderful
for
spend time with family. Change preposition
to
Concerts
it is one of the social activities such
as museums, cinemas, and others. In addition
, some artists use music
to explain social problems
. For example
, artist 2Pac Shakur explained a lot of social problems
on
his songs. Change preposition
in
Due to
for
these questions paid attention Change preposition
apply
by
Change preposition
to by
society
. There are many artists that use their popularity to talk about problems
.
Otherwise
, people
use music
for an
entertainment Correct article usage
apply
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
purpose
. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
People
after hard work come to
home and Change preposition
apply
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
music
for
relax. Change preposition
to
Also
, there are many genres of music
that
main purpose is dance. These genres are Correct pronoun usage
whose
play
in Wrong verb form
played
night clubs
or in festivals.
Correct your spelling
nightclubs
To sum up
, from
my opinion Change preposition
in
music
can be used it different purposes. People
can listen to music
for
relax and dance. Change preposition
to
From
the other Change preposition
On
hand
Add a comma
hand,
music
plays important
part in Add an article
an important
society
because it gives opportunity people
to spend time together and music
can bring some ideas.Submitted by dulskywork on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Enhance your introduction by clearly outlining the main points you plan to discuss. This establishes a solid foundation for your essay and guides the reader through your arguments.
Logical Structure
Work on developing a clear, logical structure throughout your essay. This can be achieved by organizing your thoughts into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. Transition sentences can help in smoothly linking these sections together.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing your opinion. It's crucial to present a balanced discussion before stating your stance.
Supported Main Points
Incorporate specific examples and evidence to support your main points more effectively. This not only adds depth to your arguments but also demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Topic Relevance
Your essay introduces an interesting perspective on the role of music in society and as a form of entertainment, which is relevant to the topic.
Use of Examples
You provided useful examples, such as the reference to 2Pac Shakur to illustrate how artists address social issues through music. This strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
