some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit

Nowadays, some people believe that educating

boys

and

girls

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

important

from

Change preposition

than

show examples

attending mixed

schools

while

others think

contrary

Correct article usage

the contrary

show examples

that

Correct word choice

and that

show examples

teaching

girls

and

boys

is better in individual

schools

. In my opinion,

boys

need to

study

with

girls

in mixed

schools

. On the one hand, studying in separate

schools

is necessary because if

girls

study

along

Correct your spelling

alone

show examples

without

boys

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they will

Change the verb form

study

show examples

study

successful

Change the word

successfully

show examples

than

boys

For example

Change preposition

apply

show examples

foreign

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

educate better in spite of

Add a missing verb

being separate

show examples

separate

Replace the word

separated

show examples

, but it

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

for me.

On the other hand

, educating in mixed

schools

is better than studying separately, because studying with

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

motivate

Change the verb form

motivated

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

For example

, if gentlemen

study

with

lady

Fix the agreement mistake

ladies

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they get motivated and

study

better than after. And reading

effeciency

Correct your spelling

efficiency

increases in that country. In conclusion, in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

boys

need to

study

with

girls

Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on Fri Mar 29 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Revise and polish your introduction and conclusion to make sure they are clear and effectively summarize your essay's main points

Task Achievement

You've taken a clear stance on the topic, which is a good start for developing your argument

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay - with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion - is recognizable, which provides a good foundation for making your points

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

138 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

co-education
gender segregation
peer pressure
academic performance
gender stereotypes
discrimination
social skills
teamwork
collaboration
diversity

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some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that internet is used excessively by all. Do you agree this has bad effect on children

In recent years foreign visitors should be charged more than local. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

'Prevention is better than cure'. Researching and treating diseases is too costly, so, it would be better to invest in preventive measures. Do you agree or disagree?

Some think that experiment done on animals are cruel so it should be prohibited. To what extend do you agree?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?