IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some say that people should continue to work in the same job for a lifetime, while others say they should change the job at least once in their career. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #people #work #job #lifetime #change #career
Nowadays, some people prefer planting
trees
 or flowers in open spaces in
cities
 and towns, cause the situation is important to
life
. There are some individuals who like planting
trees
 in
cities
.He or she thinks
this
 condition has a good effect on their
life
.Must admit,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
planting
is get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people‘s lives to more exist.These days in
cities
life
 is decreasing day by day because factories increasing and it located in
cities
 wherever citizens live. So planting
trees
 in the city is important. On the other hand, there are many people who dislike and do not prefer which their inclination to not would not planting. They think, it is not comfortable for the city and the situation is not a tendency for the city. So both of them are true but planting is possible and useful to individuals,
cities
as well as
 mainly earth. In my opinion, preparing and planting manifold in
cities
 is better than out of
trees
. The
trees
 give enough air to our
life
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
Be sure to directly address the topic given at the start of your essay. Your essay seems to address the importance of planting trees in cities rather than discussing career changes. It's vital to stay closely connected to the assigned topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure. Consider using an introductory paragraph, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each view and a conclusion that restates your main points and includes your opinion. This helps in building a logically structured argument.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. While you mention the benefits of planting trees, including concrete examples or studies will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
A clear conclusion that summarizes your discussion and clearly states your own opinion can make your essay more coherent and complete. Try to ensure your conclusion ties back to the prompt and reinforces your stance.
task achievement
You introduced an important environmental topic, indicating an awareness of global and communal concerns.
task achievement
There is an effort to discuss two perspectives though the essay's focus might seem slightly off-topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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