The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year
The bar chart gives demographic information for employment sectors and gender in Australia
last
year. There were significantly more
men
than
women
in management,
production
Correct word choice
and production
show examples
- over 400,00 in each case and 800,000 more for tradesperson roles. When looking at management roles proportionally, they were three times more likely to be filled by
men
.
However
, the gap was largest in trade occupations with
men
ten times more likely to be doing
this
kind of work. There was a less sizeable difference for labourers and semi-professionals but still considerably more
men
than
women
. The only sectors in which there were more
women
than
men
were
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those of professionals and clerical, with 50,000 and 100,00 more
women
in each respectively.
However
, when looking at the figures you can see that there were still a high number of
men
who were employed in these areas.
Overall
, we can see that there are more
men
than
women
in nearly every sector and even
those
Change preposition
in those
show examples
with a female majority the figures were close.
This
means that
men
make up a disproportionate amount of the Australian workforce.
Submitted by elnur.adil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: