IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of three different media, namely books, radio and television. I will argue that television is the most powerful of these three media, in terms of its ability to communicate information.

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In recent years, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 many forms of
media
Use synonyms
 developed through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ever increasing
Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
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 technology including
books
Use synonyms
,
radio
Use synonyms
 and television, with
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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 and
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
 being the newest among these developments.
However
Linking Words
, out of all these
platforms
Add a comma
platforms,
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 television
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
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 out as the most beneficial
media
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 of all
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss the pros and cons of
radio
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,
books
Use synonyms
 and television and give reasons why
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe
televions
Correct your spelling
television
televisions
 is the greatest of all.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is important to
acknoledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
 that people's
interlectual
Correct your spelling
intellectual
 is sharpened by
reading
Add an article
the reading
a reading
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
books
Use synonyms
irregardless
Replace the word
regardless
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 of what kind of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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book it is. Most of the
information
Use synonyms
 required for survival is hidden in
books
Use synonyms
.
Bible
Correct article usage
The Bible
show examples
 is
one
Use synonyms
 good example of a life manuscript where humans learn how to associate with each other. Unfortunately, it is sad to note that it only takes someone who passed through a school to know how to read a book. It requires a skill to read and understand a book
therefore
Linking Words
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
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 as
one
Use synonyms
 huge disadvantage for
books
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 as
means
Correct article usage
a means
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 of passing
information
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, there are several
radio
Use synonyms
 stations across the world that communicate in different
langages
Correct your spelling
languages
, and it is made easy with the new age technology to connect to any channel
nomatter
Correct your spelling
no matter
 which part of the world are you situated in at that moment. Radios are easy to listen to,
one
Use synonyms
 can listen to the
radio
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while
Linking Words
 driving or
while
Linking Words
 doing any other job.
However
Linking Words
, their biggest setback is that if you are deaf there is no other way you can get the
information
Use synonyms
. Apparently, the
media
Use synonyms
 fraternity is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
safe with the inclusion of televisions. TVs are the easiest mode of communication which is safe and reliable for all. It shows
visiuals
Correct your spelling
visuals
 to illustrate what they are talking
abouyt
Correct your spelling
about
, sometimes
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 even put captions to read,
Change preposition
in incase
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incase
Correct your spelling
in case
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one
Use synonyms
 fails to keep up with the accent or language of the speaker.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, tvs are not portable and
this
Linking Words
 runs as
one
Use synonyms
 of their few disadvantages. It is indisputable to note that televisions are more efficient than all other
media
Use synonyms
 platforms because they show live activities in motion pictures with sound,
subtitles
Correct word choice
and subtitles
show examples
 and in many cases there is always a sign language
translater
Correct your spelling
translator
, courtesy deaf community. In conclusion,
media
Use synonyms
 has a huge impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 the spread of
information
Use synonyms
amon
Correct your spelling
among
 the human race. People need
information
Use synonyms
 to learn about the world around them.
Nomatter
Correct your spelling
No matter
 the difference among these
information
Use synonyms
 sources, they all
compliment
Correct your spelling
complement
show examples
 each other and we need them all.

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Task Achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider engaging more deeply with a wider range of examples and incorporating more precise statistical or factual evidence where possible. This can add depth and persuasiveness to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay is well-organized, consider varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of linking words to create even smoother transitions between ideas. This can enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
Introduction
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement, which excellently guides the reader through your essay.
Supported Main Points
Your argument is well-supported with relevant examples, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's key points, reinforcing your argument and providing a strong closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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