IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a letter to a transport office about a problem with the transportation system in your area. • describe the situation you are facing • why do you consider it a problem • what change you would like to recommend

#transport #office #transportation #system #area #situation #change
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Dear sir or madam The reason why
i
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I
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 am writing to you is that
i
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I
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 want to inform you about the problem with the
transportation
 system in my area,
as well as
 suggest some solutions to make the situation better. I have been living in
this
 city since
i
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I
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 was born.
Although
this
 region is modernized with some
transportation
 systems, one problem is the poor
of
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apply
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transport machines. There is a train and some buses in
this
 area, but the
transports
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transport
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do
Verb problem
is
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 not comfortable for
childrens
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children
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 and elderly people. There are some problems rooted
from
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in
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this
.
Firstly
 as the number of buses can not go to
corners
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the corners
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 of my town, our city is becoming poor
of
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for
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transportation
. As a solution,
i
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I
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 would recommend to
increas
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increase
different
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the different
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type
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types
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 of
transportation
. In
conclution
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conclusion
,
i
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I
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 hope you will take all my words into account, and take
a
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apply
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proper action. Best regards John Smith
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your ideas by explaining and elaborating on them more thoroughly. This will help in clearly conveying the message and engaging the reader.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly around single ideas. This helps in guiding the reader through your arguments and making your letter more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammatical constructions to improve the flow of your letter.
task achievement
You have effectively used a polite and appropriate tone suitable for writing to an authority.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal, showing respect to the recipient.
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