The given line graph illustrates the proportion of the total music sold by three different ways between 2011 to 2010.overall ,it can be seen that the percentage of music sold through download and cds purchased decreased,while by stream increased over the given time period.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of the total music sold by three different ways between 2011 to 2010.overall ,it can be seen that the percentage of music sold through download and cds purchased decreased,while by stream increased over the given time period.
The chart depicts the percentage of the total
music
in three selling ways from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the growth of Stream
Music
was fast, and in 2018 it became
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
dominant.
However
, the opposite trend can be seen in the CDs purchased
music
.
In contrast
, downloaded
music
remained constant. Looking at the chart more closely one can see that Steam
Music
sales ascended dramatically from 5% in 2011 to 41% in 2018. It gained 41% of sales. CDs purchased
music
declined significantly in the survey, and in 2018 it
almost
Rephrase
apply
show examples
lost approximately 30% of sales. Downloaded
music
in 2011 accounted
about
Change preposition
for about
show examples
33%. In 2014 it peaked at around 45%.
Subsequently
, it
was dropping
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
and
finally
reached 30% in 2018.
This
was the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
type
keep
Wrong verb form
that kept
show examples
relatively stable during these years. The ranking of
this
graph changed entirely in these 7 years. The one that accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
most in 2011 became the least in 2018.
Submitted by edward300225 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words music with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: