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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major citites with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparison where relevant.

#data #railway #systems #six #citites #date #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparison
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A glance at the table provides information about underground
railway
Use synonyms
 systems in six areas including
London
Use synonyms
, Paris, Tokoyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 with the open dates, the length of routes and, annual
passengers
Use synonyms
 in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
 has the oldest and longest underground
railway
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 Tokyo's underground
railway
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 has the most
passengers
Use synonyms
 per year.
Besides
Linking Words
, the underground
railway
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 in
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 is the newest, whilst the route of Kyoto’s underground
railway
Use synonyms
system
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 is the shortest.
According to
Linking Words
 the data shown in the table,
London
Use synonyms
’s underground
railway
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system
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 opened in 1863 which is 138 years earlier than
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
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's which opened in 2001. With the shortest route, the annual
passengers
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 of Kyoto’s underground
railway
Use synonyms
system
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 are the fewest which are 45 million people.
Although
Linking Words
 the route of Tokyo’s underground
railway
Use synonyms
system
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 is only 155 kilometres which is even half less than that of
London
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's, its annual
passengers
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 are 1928 million which is more than twofold those of
London
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's by 195 million people.
To sum up
Linking Words
, except for
Los
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Angeles
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, the rest of the cities had underground
railway
Use synonyms
 systems before the 21st century.
Submitted by s99104032 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, london, los, angeles, passengers, system with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underground railway systems
  • date opened
  • kilometres of route
  • passenger numbers per year
  • summarise
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
  • oldest
  • recent additions
  • route length
  • network
  • transport
  • massive
  • annually
  • comparatively shorter
  • follows closely behind
  • lowest number
  • second highest
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