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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In many countries a small number of people earn extremely high salaries some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that government should not allow salary above a certain level. Discuss both and explain your idea.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #salary #level #idea
These maps illustrate
haw
Correct your spelling
how
show examples
 the
village
 of Ryemouth was developed in a 30-year period.
Overall
, it can be seen from these pictures that
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
 has
been
Verb problem
had
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 numerous
changed
Replace the word
changes
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 during these three decades
such
 as destroying
fish
Correct article usage
the fish
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 market with building new
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
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. Some new facilities
also
 were added to
this
village
.
According
Add the preposition
According to
show examples
 these figures, it can be observed
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 Ryemouth
village
 had a farmland in 1995 which was replaced by
a
Correct article usage
apply
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golf and tennis courses. The maps imply that
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 park was converted to
Correct article usage
a holidays
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holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday
show examples
 home and car park in three decades, with the hotel developed in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
village
.
Although
 the location of residential
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 has
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
change
Replace the word
changed
show examples
, the number of houses significantly increased.
This
village
 had a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 place which was replaced by
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
show examples
. These images indicated that the Ryemouth
village
 fish market was ruined and
instead
 of that,
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
show examples
 was built. The coffee has experienced no change in its location and building,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
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 the location and type of boats in the sea has been changed in
these 30-year period
Change the determiner
this 30-year period
these 30-year periods
show examples
.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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Introduction
Begin with an introduction that clearly states the topic being discussed, giving readers a clear understanding of what to expect in the essay.
Conclusion
Ensure you have a conclusion that summarizes your key points and reiterates your stand on the topic, providing closure to the discussion.
Cohesion
Work on creating more cohesive transitions between ideas and paragraphs for smoother reading.
Language
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the quality and flow of your writing.
Details
You provided specific examples and details about the changes in Ryemouth village, which helped illustrate your points.
Task Response
You successfully identified and discussed the transformations over the specified period, showing good task understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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