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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given table illustrates the data about the independent films released in the UK and the republic of Ireland based on the category of movies in the year 2012.

The given table illustrates the data about the independent films released in the UK and the republic of Ireland based on the category of movies in the year 2012.
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The table shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about various categories of independent
films
Use synonyms
 that were performed in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of Ireland back in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that there were only
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
Use synonyms
genre
Change to a plural noun
genres
show examples
 that were taking place the majority both on
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of releases and
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 drama and documentary genres
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
release
Change to a plural noun
releases
show examples
, it was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
comedy
Use synonyms
genre
Use synonyms
 that had the biggest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
. In terms of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of releases, from 148
films
Use synonyms
 that were released
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2012, the biggest
genre
Use synonyms
 was drama and documentary which
were sharing
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 the same
number
Use synonyms
 at 35. By
this
Linking Words
, so these two genres
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a proportion to almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the
number
Use synonyms
 of released
films
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 was followed by
comedy
Use synonyms
 which stood at 26 and
then
Linking Words
 horror and thriller which were performed quite the same at 14 and 13, respectively. The least
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
release
Change to a plural noun
releases
show examples
 is biopic
genre
Use synonyms
 with only
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 release
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the year. In terms of
income
Use synonyms
 from ticket sales,
Use synonyms
comedy
Correct article usage
the comedy
show examples
genre
Use synonyms
 took
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 lead with almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the total
income
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
running to
this
Linking Words
genre
Use synonyms
,
stood
Correct pronoun usage
which stood
show examples
 at 45.4% precisely.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the only
genre
Use synonyms
 that
also
Linking Words
 had
double digit
Add a hyphen
double-digit
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
income
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 was horror at 20.2%. The other
genre
Use synonyms
 only had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
income
Use synonyms
percenatge
Correct your spelling
percentage
percentages
 below 10% or in a single digit.
To sum up
Linking Words
, both in terms of
number
Use synonyms
 of released
films
Use synonyms
 and
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 from ticket sales, there was a huge gap between the genres. The most released ones are
documentary
Fix the agreement mistake
documentaries
show examples
 and drama,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 the biggest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
income
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 found in
comedy
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words films, genre, number, percentage, income, comedy with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • independent films
  • categories
  • released
  • notable differences
  • trends
  • overall patterns
  • specific numbers
  • analyze
  • popular
  • themes
  • less likely
  • explored
  • independent cinema
  • significant disparities
  • data analysis
  • terminology
  • genres
  • descriptive terms
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