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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts shows information about the reasons of degradation in soil in 3 differen parts in the world in 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts shows information about the reasons of degradation in soil in 3 differen parts in the world in 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart illustrates the primary reasons for the lands which become less fertile,
while
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 the table shows how these reasons impacted 3 regions in the world during the 1990s.
Overall
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, it is evident that over-grazing is a primary driver compared to other causes,
on the other hand
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, Europe experienced the highest degradation of soil. Over-grazing was responsible for 35% of the whole share,
while
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 it stood at 30% for deforestation,
therefore
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, making it slightly higher than that of over-cultivation, at 28%. Other causes had less importance with merely 7%. Turning to regions, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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degraded land in Europe was at its top
with
Change preposition
at
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 23%, which is mainly caused by deforestation,
with
Change preposition
at
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 9.8%.
Furthermore
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, The next most degraded land can be observed in Oceania with 13%, where
while
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 over-grazing was the main reason for degradation with 11.3%, over-cultivation contributed none.
Moreover
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, in North America, as opposed to Oceania, the basic factor was over-cultivation, at 3.3%,
however
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, deforestation was at a mere 0.2%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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