Children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #tv #computer #games #abilities

Some people say that

children

spend a lot of time watching and playing computer

games

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

it does not help in improving their mental abilities.

This

writer disagrees with

this

statement because of the strong determination

due to

the

games

and teenagers’ s gallantry. It must be understood that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

games

can help

children

build volition. With construction

games

, they have to complete the missions in order to

increasing

Change the verb

increase

show examples

their level. If they

don’ t

Correct your spelling

don’t

show examples

complete it once, they have to play again, try and try to get the rewards.

This

not only

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them build their will

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

patience. Another point to

get

Verb problem

take

show examples

into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consideration is

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

kids can

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

brave learning

Replace the word

bravely learn

show examples

from the

games

or videos on the TV.

Although

some

games

and

video

Fix the agreement mistake

videos

show examples

are violent and terrifying, they

also

make the

children

stronger. If these

games

and videos are used

Change preposition

show examples

a good way, the

children

can build their will

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

also

have some personal skills.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

horror

games

, some styles which

trapped

Wrong verb form

trap

show examples

the players in the houses and they have to find the exit, will teach them how to use the available tools to get out of the houses or deal with the problems. In conclusion, the sturdy determination

due to

the

games

and the teenagers’ s gallantry are the main reasons why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

spending too much time watching TV and playing computer

games

of the

children

are not help in developing their mental abilities is wrong.

This

essay has shown

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

children

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

too much time watching and playing computer

games

Verb problem

does

show examples

not help in improving their mental abilities is not true.

Submitted by 11E4 Community on Sun Mar 31 2024

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Structure

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your stance, the body paragraphs should each focus on a single main point with examples, and the conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your position.

Content

Avoid repetition of ideas or phrases to make your argument more compelling and your writing more engaging.

Language

Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. Incorporating complex sentence structures and less common words can help enhance your writing.

Examples

While supporting your main points with examples is good, make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Task Response

You have a clear stance throughout the essay, which helps strengthen your argument.

Structure

Your essay structure attempts to follow the introductory-body-conclusion format, which is good for overall coherence and cohesion.

Content

You introduced interesting points regarding determination and courage as benefits of gaming, which made your argument unique.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.