Children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #tv #computer #games #abilities

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Some people say that

children

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spend a lot of time watching and playing computer

games

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Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

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it does not help in improving their mental abilities.

This

Linking Words

writer disagrees with

this

Linking Words

statement because of the strong determination

due to

Linking Words

the

games

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and teenagers’ s gallantry. It must be understood that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

games

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can help

children

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build volition. With construction

games

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, they have to complete the missions in order to

increasing

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increase

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their level. If they

don’ t

Correct your spelling

don’t

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complete it once, they have to play again, try and try to get the rewards.

This

Linking Words

not only

help

Change the verb form

helps

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them build their will

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

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them have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

patience. Another point to

get

Verb problem

take

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into

the

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apply

show examples

consideration is

the

Correct your spelling

that

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kids can

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

brave learning

Replace the word

bravely learn

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from the

games

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or videos on the TV.

Although

Linking Words

some

games

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and

video

Fix the agreement mistake

videos

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are violent and terrifying, they

also

Linking Words

make the

children

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stronger. If these

games

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and videos are used

Change preposition

show examples

a good way, the

children

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can build their will

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apply

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

have some personal skills.

For example

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

horror

games

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, some styles which

trapped

Wrong verb form

trap

show examples

the players in the houses and they have to find the exit, will teach them how to use the available tools to get out of the houses or deal with the problems. In conclusion, the sturdy determination

due to

Linking Words

the

games

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and the teenagers’ s gallantry are the main reasons why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

spending too much time watching TV and playing computer

games

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of the

children

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are not help in developing their mental abilities is wrong.

This

Linking Words

essay has shown

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

children

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spend

Wrong verb form

spending

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too much time watching and playing computer

games

Use synonyms

Verb problem

does

show examples

not help in improving their mental abilities is not true.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Sun Mar 31 2024

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Structure

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your stance, the body paragraphs should each focus on a single main point with examples, and the conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your position.

Content

Avoid repetition of ideas or phrases to make your argument more compelling and your writing more engaging.

Language

Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. Incorporating complex sentence structures and less common words can help enhance your writing.

Examples

While supporting your main points with examples is good, make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Task Response

You have a clear stance throughout the essay, which helps strengthen your argument.

Structure

Your essay structure attempts to follow the introductory-body-conclusion format, which is good for overall coherence and cohesion.

Content

You introduced interesting points regarding determination and courage as benefits of gaming, which made your argument unique.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
sedentary behavior
obesity
academic performance
social skills
mental health
attention problems
creativity
imagination
face-to-face interactions

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Children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attendtion to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

"In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. "

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of thease problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?