IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter your cousin who found a job related to a technology industry in another country. Express him or her you are happy about it Tell him or her a new trend /technology in your life Ask from him /her how did find a job in that country and ask if him or her facing problems

#cousin #job #technology #industry #country #trend #life
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Dear Mr Sean I am writing to express my feelings. You are working as a programist. I am so happy I can not describe it. I hope you are well done.
Firstly
Linking Words
, You are working in Germany. As I heard you are a computer specialist. I have dreamed since childhood. It is very difficult but you can handle it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, you should be made the best phone. Because many people want to use a mobile phone.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their relatives
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in another country and they want to talk face-to-face. If you facing some difficulties and expensive taxes. You should be moved to Russia. Because
Russian
Correct article usage
the Russian
show examples
 government supports many programs you can enhance your financial aspects. If you have no problem, you should stay in Germany. I look forward to receiving your prompt reply and I hope the letter finds you in the best spirit. Yours faithfully Mr Don
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Tone
Try to maintain a consistent tone suitable for a personal letter; the use of formal titles like 'Mr Sean' and 'Mr Don' seems overly formal for writing to a cousin.
Structure
Include a clear introduction, development, and conclusion in your letter for better structure and flow.
Development
Ensure your ideas are fully developed in each paragraph, providing specific examples or details to support your points.
Task Achievement
You've expressed happiness about your cousin's job, which was a task requirement. Good job on fulfilling that aspect.
Organization
Your letter is sectioned into paragraphs, each touching upon different subjects which aids in readability and organization.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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