IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plan #health #centre #b #place #summarise #information #features #comparisons
A glance at the figures provided reveals structural and functional modifications that occurred in a
health
centre
.
While
 the first graph illustrates the
health
centre
's plan in 2005, the second one depicts its current plan. It is evident from the information provided that the most significant change to take place during
this
 period was considerable growth in the capacity of parking from 12 in 2005 to 30 at present for the convenience of patients. Following the relocation of the entrance from the south to the southwest, consulting room 3 has been replaced by a play area for children. In order to expand the central space of the
health
centre
, the office and consulting rooms 3 and 4 have been decreased in the area.
Also
, a minor operations room has been constructed in the north beside the physiotherapy room. It is interesting to note that the
health
centre
 has developed and equipped during the time mentioned, contributing to the fulfilling consequences in the process of treating patients.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow the development from 2005 to the present day. To further enhance your writing, consider varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
You've done an excellent job selecting and reporting the main features of the health centre's transformation. To elevate your response to the next level, aim to integrate a wider variety of specific examples and comparative language. This will add depth to your analysis and illustrate the changes more vividly.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and commented on the most significant changes that occurred in the health centre, demonstrating strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a coherent overview of the health centre's evolution, with a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: