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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar chart indicates the percentage of average family cost using
income
Use synonyms
 during a week in a specific nation between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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1968 and 2018. Nearly 17% of weekly
income
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 was spent to buy
food
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 in 1968
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of money spent to buy
food
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 markedly increased twice to 35% in 2018. There is a similar trend can be seen in the
figure
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 for purchasing clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
. 5% of weekly
salary
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 was spent to buy
this
Linking Words
 kind of
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
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 in 1968. After 5 decades, the
figure
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 grew twice showing 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, residents spent around 4% of
Use synonyms
salary
Correct pronoun usage
their salary
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 per month to buy fuel and power
as well as
Linking Words
 personal goods in 1968. The
figure
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 for spending
income
Use synonyms
 on these things slightly rose to 6% and 7% respectively in 2018.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of weekly
income
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 spent on housing in 1968
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 10% and rose approximately to 19% in 2018. The spending on transport is similar as 8% of
salary
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 was spent
in
Change preposition
on
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 purchasing leisure in 1968 and increased to 22% in 2018. The
figure
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 for weekly
salary
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 spent on
househould
Correct your spelling
household
 goods remains steadily unchanged in these two years (7% or so).
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1968, people were willing to spend their money to buy
food
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.
However
Linking Words
, people tended to purchase leisure, housing and
food
Use synonyms
 50 years later in 2018.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, food, figure, salary with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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