IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is happening? Do you think this will have a possitive or negative impact on society

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #possitive #impact #society
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The rise of
robots
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 and artificial intelligence (AI) in workplaces is reshaping industries worldwide.
This
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 author will explore the drivers behind
this
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 shift and evaluate its potential ramifications on society. Advances in robotics, machine learning, and AI algorithms have transformed the workplace by enabling
automation
Correct article usage
the automation
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 of tasks previously considered too complex. These innovations allow
robots
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 and AI systems to perform various functions with precision and efficiency.
For example
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, in manufacturing,
robots
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 can assemble products swiftly and accurately, revolutionizing production processes.
Similarly
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, in sectors like healthcare and logistics, AI-powered systems streamline operations, leading to improved outcomes and cost savings. The widespread adoption of
robots
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 and artificial intelligence in the workforce raises significant concerns about job displacement. As machines take over tasks traditionally performed by humans, there's a risk of widespread unemployment, economic instability, and exacerbation of income inequality.
Additionally
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, ethical concerns regarding data privacy, algorithmic bias, and the broader societal implications of delegating decision-making to machines need to be addressed. In conclusion, the rise of
robots
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 and AI in the workforce offers benefits but
also
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 poses challenges like job displacement and ethical concerns.

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Development and Example Relevance
Provide concrete examples to support your points. Including specific instances where robots and AI have impacted jobs can make your argument more convincing.
Task Response Clarity
While you've introduced the topic well, it would be beneficial to have a clearer stance on whether the impact of robots and AI on society is positive or negative as asked in the question. This can make your essay more focused and directly aligned with the task requirements.
Structure and Flow
You've done an excellent job structuring your essay, with clear introductions and conclusions that effectively set up and summarize your main points.
Topic Understanding and Insight
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, providing insightful observations on how AI and robotics are changing industries.
Language and Expression
You've used a range of sentence structures and vocabulary effectively, which makes your essay engaging to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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