Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replsce humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?
In the workplace, machines and AI are being developed to take
people
's job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
due to
their fast and quality work. This
writer believes that this
will negatively impact Correct article usage
apply
the
society as they dominate the Correct article usage
apply
labor
market and the market share, reduce job opportunities and make young Change the spelling
labour
people
less ambitious.
The most considerable point is that robots and program
would lead to unemployment. Since there are Fix the agreement mistake
programs
less
jobs to do and they might require high technique, many Change the quantifier
fewer
people
would have no income and become homeless. Eventually, the gap between the rich and the poor increase
and Fix the agreement mistake
increases
cause
global Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
such
as famine. For example
, after applied
AI workers, about 50000 Google employees Wrong verb form
applying
was
fired and contributed up to 17% to the global unemployment rate in 2022.
Another consideration that must be Correct subject-verb agreement
were
point
out is that it could make Wrong verb form
pointed
young
generation become inactive and less competitive. Because of the replacement, young Correct article usage
the young
people
have nothing left to do which will make them lazy. That would end up in slower global improvement and a less promising future. For instance
, in the USA, about 78% of children Correct pronoun usage
who suffered
suffered
from obesity Wrong verb form
suffer
is
come from families with technological advantages.
In conclusion, Unnecessary verb
apply
robot
and artificial intelligence with their productive working attitude can replace humans for better sales but Fix the agreement mistake
robots
this
could also
lead to unemployment and lazy
young generation which would badly damage the community. Correct article usage
a lazy
Nevertheless
, those factors could decrease the world
Change noun form
world's
developing
speed and push a large number of Replace the word
development
people
to hunger and poverty that
may result in society’s corruption.Correct pronoun usage
which
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Introduction
Ensure to introduce the topic effectively and create a concise thesis statement. It appears you have a good grasp of this, but refining your thesis to clearly present your argument will strengthen your introduction.
Evidence & Examples
While you provided examples, ensuring that these examples are realistic and verifiable would strengthen your argument. The provided statistics and consequences, such as the impact on Google employees and global unemployment rates, should be accurate, as these details significantly contribute to your credibility.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader from one idea to the next seamlessly.
Task Response
To enhance task response, consider exploring the positive impacts of AI and robots in the workplace as well. This would provide a more balanced view and fully address the essay prompt.
Relevance
The essay discusses significant and relevant issues such as unemployment and societal laziness due to AI and technology.
Structure
The logical structure of your argument, splitting it into the impact on employment and on youths, organizes your essay well.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and reiterates the central argument, maintaining a strong stance throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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