IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative inpact on society?

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #inpact #society
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With the proliferation of technology, some jobs are being worked out by artificial intelligence to reduce mistakes and life-threatening injuries for
workers
.
This
 writer contends that the advent of AI is a merit as it promotes mass production and
the
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workforce quality. The key reasons for the arrival of automation are its precision and safety. In fact, thanks to the incessant development in miniaturisation, there are robots that can perform some kinds of bone and brain surgeries with
submilimeter
Correct your spelling
submillimeter
 accuracy, which is far more precise than what a professional surgeon can achieve with his hand alone.
Moreover
, using robot arms to carry out laborious tasks saves
blue collar
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blue-collar
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workers
 from dangers since they no longer need to,
for instance
,
expose
Wrong verb form
be exposed
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 to toxic fumes and chemicals in factories. Artificial intelligence is the
right-arm
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right
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 man of
human
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humans
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 and it has ushered in an era where machines dominate in manufacturing.
This
 paves the way for machinalisation that allows
producing
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production
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 in great quantities with up-to-standard commodities. Not only does it exert a positive impact on
the
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product quality but it
also
encourage
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encourages
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 labourers to be competent in managing and functioning robots.
As a result
, the number of skilled
workers
 will increase which affect the national economy
possitively
Correct your spelling
positively
.
Therefore
,
workers
 need to learn to catch up with
such
 an innovation. In conclusion,
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
 boosting work productivity and saving
workers
 from risks are the reasons for the roaring number of robots in factories.
Additionally
, it promotes
Correct article usage
a higher
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higher level
Add a hyphen
higher-level
show examples
 workforce.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a well-structured argument, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. Ensure your transitions between paragraphs are smooth to enhance readability.
Task Response
Provide a wider variety of examples to support your points about the impact of AI and robotics on society. This will enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.
Task Response
Your essay effectively addresses the prompts, offering clear opinions and rationale for both the reasons behind the adoption of AI and its impact on society.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've demonstrated a good ability to structure your essay logically, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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