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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph shows the spending on research into renewable energy of four countries from 1975 to 2000.

The graph shows the spending on research into renewable energy of four countries from 1975 to 2000.
#research #energy #four #countries
The line graph illustrates information about the amount of
money
 which was spent on research to get renewable energy
in particular
 regions between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that every country witnessed growth,
while
 none of them engaged in exploring renewable energy at the beginning of the period. Looking at the details,
money
 spent on research per person
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 significantly in
Switzerland
 and Denmark.In 1980, every country spent just above 2
dollars
 on exploration in
Switzerland
.
Furthermore
, the figure for Denmark was just
below.
Correct your spelling
below
2
dollars
.In the following 20 years, most people were interested in obtaining renewable energy in
Switzerland
. The.quantity of
money
 rose sharply in
Switzerland
, reaching a peak of above 5
dollars
at the end
 of the period.In Denmark, each person spent 3
dollars
 in 2000. As for the other countries, there were
ultimately
Replace the adverb
ultimate
show examples
 increases throughout the period, In 1980,
money
 spent on
Correct your spelling
research
esearch
Correct your spelling
research
 was 1 dollar in Spain,
then
 it decreased until 1990.In 1995, the figure for Spain overtook the UK's
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, but
money
 per person was just under a dollar.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, switzerland, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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