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Writing Samples /
Band 4

On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of the lost item. Write a letter to the insurance manager. In your letter: describe the item you lost, explain how you lost it, tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

#holiday #item #travel #insurance #cost #lost #manager #company
Dear Sir/Madam I am writing to express my concern about a necklace
which
Correct pronoun usage
that I
show examples
 merely dismissed in the hotel
during
Change preposition
apply
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last
 night. The aforementioned necklace
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is a kind of gold-made, quite thick having
the
Correct article usage
a
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 weight
around
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of around
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 35 grams.
Last
 night there
were
Change the verb form
was
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 a wedding ceremony in the Pearl
eHall
Correct your spelling
all
 inside the hotel and
certainly
Add a comma
certainly,
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 it was on me when I entered the hall.
on
Change preposition
At
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 11:30 pm when I just entered
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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room 313, I realized the necklace
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 not with me anymore, I
check
Wrong verb form
checked
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 the whole room and I did not find it,
therefore
 I'm sure the case is somewhere inside
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Pearl
hall
Capitalize word
Hall
show examples
, please do your best to find out or refund the amount in quick because I will leave the hotel
tommorrow
Correct your spelling
tomorrow
 afternoon. Yours faithfully Abraham Streeter
Submitted by majid.ebadi on

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greeting and closing
Consider starting your letter with a polite greeting and introducing yourself briefly before delving into the issue
single idea per paragraph
For clarity and impact, ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea. You have done this well, but further separation of the description of the lost item and the sequence of events might enhance readability.
complete response
While you have provided a description of the event and your request, adding a brief overview of the steps you have already taken (e.g., contacting the hotel management) could strengthen your letter.
suitable writing tone
A slightly more formal tone could be beneficial. Avoid using casual phrases like 'did not find it, therefore I'm sure' and use more formal language instead.
task response
You clearly described the lost item, making it easier for the insurance company to understand what you have lost.
coherence cohesion
The chronological order of events is clear, enhancing the letter's coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable item
  • travel insurance
  • insurance manager
  • reimbursement
  • coverage policy
  • preventive measures
  • sentimental value
  • monetary value
  • swift resolution
  • reimbursement
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