The graph shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012.

The bar chart presented the comparison of sports

activities

played by

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and females in an English town in 2012. Sports including tennis, badminton, cycling, swimming, football, and history are held. In terms of general preference,

overall

boys tend to enjoy physical

activities

more than girls.

However

, girls are

also

fond of

activities

such

as badminton and swimming. The

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of people entertained by swimming

are

Change the verb form

show examples

above

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the rest of the physical

activities

while

the number of love hockey is lower.

Furthermore

, tennis had the same quantity as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

swimming.

Secondly

, the number of males

Correct pronoun usage

who likes

show examples

likes

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

football

are

Change the verb form

show examples

higher than the rest of the physical activity. Meanwhile, hockey had the least amount of people.

Submitted by lydiaia on Tue Apr 02 2024

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words activities with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

115 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012.

some people think that the development of technology help to decrease crime and other people think that would encourage crime to discuss both views and give your opinion.

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourist in the 1960s and 70s, they return home with no experience of the local culture. Why do you think this happen? How was tourism different in the past?

It is better for students to study from home rather than go to school. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?