Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is imp for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give opinion.
Many parents prefer to
encurage
their Correct your spelling
encourage
children
to take advantage to do group activities in their free time and others say that it Use synonyms
is affected
Wrong verb form
affects
to
Change preposition
apply
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
study
how to career Wrong verb form
studying
themselve
on their own. I will Correct your spelling
themselves
expian
both Correct your spelling
explain
expand
side
and give Change to a plural noun
sides
opinion
in Add an article
an opinion
this
essay.
On the one hand , Linking Words
children
in Use synonyms
new
generation easy to Correct article usage
the new
motived
Replace the word
motivated
from
Change preposition
by
environment
, Add an article
the environment
such
as Linking Words
avdertise
from social that they have more advantages for Correct your spelling
advertise
kids
to learn and Use synonyms
development
their Replace the word
develop
skill
lead to occupy in future . Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Therefore
, Many parentsLinking Words
had spent
time with their Wrong verb form
have to spend
children
when start to learn newUse synonyms
thing
that parents can expianFix the agreement mistake
things
Capitalize word
Also
also
when Linking Words
kids
Use synonyms
watched
Wrong verb form
watch
youtube
family should Correct your spelling
YouTube
advisted
them.
Correct your spelling
advised
advise
For Example
, in my country Thailand , We have young Linking Words
actor
Fix the agreement mistake
actors
have
influent skill from Correct pronoun usage
who have
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
parent
Use synonyms
how
to Change preposition
on how
creative
Replace the word
create
show
and higher Fix the agreement mistake
shows
productivities
.
Fix the agreement mistake
productivity
On the other hand
, Many Linking Words
children
lose disadvantages Use synonyms
to spend
time in bad activities Change preposition
by spending
such
as Linking Words
play
Replace the word
playing
game
, Fix the agreement mistake
games
wacthed
Correct your spelling
watching
youtube
, Correct your spelling
YouTube
tiktok
usingless Correct word choice
and tiktok
benificial
for Correct your spelling
beneficial
kids
because Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
did
not Wrong verb form
do
noticed
them Wrong verb form
notice
also
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
had
less concentrated. It will Verb problem
are
impacted
careers in Change the verb form
impact
future
Correct article usage
the future
becaues
their Correct your spelling
because
parent
didnot Use synonyms
guied
line for Correct your spelling
guide
thier
Correct your spelling
their
occupy
.
In conclusion , Replace the word
occupation
Parent
has more influent Use synonyms
Change preposition
on
for
their Change preposition
on
kids
to Use synonyms
Replace the word
motivate
motived
their Replace the word
motivate
children
Use synonyms
Change preposition
into what
what
is Change preposition
into what
Wrong verb form
occupied
occupy
that Wrong verb form
occupied
kids
Use synonyms
want
Correct your spelling
won't
Fix the infinitive
to be
be
in the future . I totally support that we should have organisation activities to help our Fix the infinitive
to be
children
and support them in Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
career
.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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Introduction
Consider revising your introduction for a clearer presentation of both views and your opinion. A well-structured introduction sets a positive tone for the rest of the essay.
Paragraph Development
Work on developing coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, clearly stated at the beginning, and supported with specific examples or explanations.
Use of Examples
Try to provide clearer, more specific examples to support your points. Specific examples help to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
Grammar and Spelling
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Mistakes can distract readers and make your arguments harder to follow. Tools and practice can help improve this aspect.
Task Response
You've tackled both sides of the argument, which is good for addressing the task requirement.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarises your opinion well, reinforcing your stance on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.