IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace hmans in the workplace. Why is this happening/ Do you think this will have a positive or negaative impact on society/

#robots #intelligence #hmans #workplace #negaative #impact #society
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In
this
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 digital era,
technology
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 is becoming more and more popular, and
humans
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 are concerned about the replacement of
robots
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 and AI. Because
of
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apply
show examples
the dependence of
humans
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 on
technology
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 is increasing, I believe that
this
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 development will affect
on
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apply
show examples
society badly. In the ancient era, when
people
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 lived without modern
technology
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, they did everything by their hand. Nowadays, there are a lot of new inventions that help
people
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 work. They are very convenient,
that is
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 why young
people
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 depend too much on
technology
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 equipment. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 is that in some workplaces,
robots
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 are bought to work as a receptionist or a good seller.
Although
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 the revolution of
technology
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 helps
people
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 a lot with working or
also
Linking Words
 entertainment, it still has a negative impact on society. It is reasonable that some theories assume that AI is going to replace
humans
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 in the future. Because
robots
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 are so popular, many factors or companies prefer using
robots
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instead
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 of
humans
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. It leads to the higher rates of unemployment all over the world. The best example of
this
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 is that
people
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 lose their work because of the
robots
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, not only the rates of unemployment increase, but
also
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 the rates of crime.
Due to
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 the fact that
people
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 depend too much on
technology
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, its benefits will become the drawbacks. If we do not improve
this
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 situation,
robots
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 will replace
humans
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 in the near future.
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Introduction
To further enhance your essay, consider expanding your introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement. This will help to guide your reader through your arguments.
Structure
Try to include a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to structure your essay more effectively. Organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs will make your points easier to follow.
Content
In discussing the impact of technology, consider exploring both sides more thoroughly. This includes highlighting not only the negative aspects, but also acknowledging potential positive impacts, which can provide a more balanced view.
Examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Position
Despite the difficulties in language use, your essay conveys a clear position on the topic, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • technological advancement
  • mundane
  • repetitive tasks
  • efficiency goals
  • manufacturing
  • healthcare
  • service industry
  • accuracy
  • productivity
  • precision
  • displacement
  • economic challenges
  • societal challenges
  • maintenance
  • programming
  • system design
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • continuous learning
  • adaptation
  • workforce
  • prevalent
  • decision-making
  • personal data handling
  • regulatory frameworks
  • equitable benefits
  • inequality gaps
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