In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, when businesses advertise their products, they try to show it as a new good in some way. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss the reason for
this
Linking Words
effort.
In addition
Linking Words
, why
I
Add a missing verb
do I
show examples
consider it as a negative
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
It is my view that, when a business
such
Linking Words
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
company
launched
Wrong verb form
launches
show examples
a new product, it definitely wants to have a considerable sale and because advertising
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a crucial role in introducing goods, the company makes its effort to illustrate the goods as a new thing. It would be the best approach to deal with other competitor companies
as well as
Linking Words
previous versions or editions of the same product.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
usually have a tendency to seek new arrivals in order to possess the latest things which
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they believe are the best goods. It can happen in different aspects
such
Linking Words
as technology, fashion or even home decoration. I am
also
Linking Words
convinced that,
such
Linking Words
advertisings
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
have a significant drawback as they encourage
people
Use synonyms
to spend more and more money on the staff that they already possess, which is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
obvious type of consumerism.
For instance
Linking Words
, every other year cutting-edge electronic gadgets like smartphones are launched,
while
Linking Words
they literally have insignificant improvements
compete
Verb problem
compared
show examples
with the past versions even in their appearance and many
people
Use synonyms
consume a huge amount of money to have them. In conclusion, having
desire
Change the article
the desire
show examples
to sell more
leading
Replace the word
leads
show examples
companies to insist on advertising their products as they are new in some aspects. From my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
it is totally undesired and negative effect on societies and
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by samira.nezhadamin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a specific point. This helps in enhancing clarity and making your argument more persuasive.
Grammar
Consider revising for small grammatical errors and ensuring that your sentences are complete and correctly structured. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.
Vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Content
Good job in presenting a clear opinion on the topic and supporting it with relevant examples.
Structure
Effective use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to frame your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: