Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
professional
Correct word choice
whether professional
athletes
make good role
models for young or not. It is undeniable that sport
has become an essential part of our life.
In our time all boys like watch
Change the verb form
watching
football
on TV and other people
like watching sports. We have sport
and with Fix the agreement mistake
sports
sports
we have professional Add a comma
sports,
athletes
who can make good role
models for young people
.
I think sport
is an important exercise for young people
. Because they have growing organism
and they must do exercise for health. But many Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
people
are too lazy to play sports and for this
Top athletes
get attention
of young Add an article
the attention
people
. For example
boys like watch
Fix the infinitive
to watch
football
and play that. When they watching football
they have energy and we need to get out of them somewhere.
And they
do Correct word choice
They
any
exercise or play Correct determiner usage
some
football
with friends and they want repeat
Fix the infinitive
to repeat
fint
they saw at the game. Correct your spelling
what
As a result
,it leads to great interest in the game and not only play but to be professional athletes
.
When
some Correct word choice
While
people
think that professional athletes
make good role
models for their children,some people
think they don’t make
good Verb problem
play
role
. Others don’t like professional Fix the agreement mistake
roles
athletes
,because they think it not
needed Add a missing verb
is not
in
Change preposition
at
this
time. Because in that
we have dirty players who cheat to win or we don’t have money for pro training other kids.
Add a comma
that,
However
we all like Add a comma
However,
watch
Add the particle
to watch
sport
and watch life professional Fix the agreement mistake
sports
athletes
. Some girls like footballers some boys like watch
Replace the word
watching
game
and some Fix the agreement mistake
games
people
want to be like them and it can’t be fixedSubmitted by dnm.best on
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coherence cohesion
It is important to clearly organize your essay into paragraphs with distinct points. Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and supports it with relevant details.
task achievement
Remember to provide a more comprehensive balance for both viewpoints presented in the essay. Providing specific examples for both views will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the key points discussed and restate your own opinion clearly. This will provide a sense of closure for your essay.
task achievement
You have managed to provide your perspective on the topic, demonstrating an understanding of both sides of the debate.
coherence cohesion
Your attempt to link ideas and points is commendable. With further refinement, this can lead to a more cohesive essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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