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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevent.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevent.
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The given maps illustrate the current condition and the future development of an industrial place in Norbiton.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the maps reveals that the
area
Use synonyms
 will totally be transformed in the future from factories to become full residents with an economic
area
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all of the infrastructures that will be installed can be found in all of the parts, with the exception of the western sector. In terms of the
area
Use synonyms
 in the present time, the majority of the infrastructure is the eight buildings of the factory. It is located in the central and east of the island which is separated by the roads. The farmland is situated to the west of the zone
while
Linking Words
 the town is in the west. Regarding the plan for future development, the factories will be replaced by resident's houses and some other buildings to support the citizens
such
Linking Words
 as shops, a medical centre, a playground in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 center of the
area
Use synonyms
, and a school
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of east road.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the construction of residents in the north, the bridge will be installed to connect.
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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