Nowadays, many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

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Nowadays, Rapidly increasing technological advancement makes our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
easier. Most of the people have access to a computer. because of that, Some of the children are addicted to
video
games
. In
this
essay, I will discuss why playing
games
can boost our brain and memory power and why it can eventually be disadvantageous if we play too much. Gaming is really a workout for our mind disguised as fun. Studies have shown that playing
video
games
regularly may increase grey matter in the brain and boost brain connectivity. Most people play
video
games
for entertainment purposes. In
this
contemporary world, people are so busy they do not have time for outdoor
games
so, they prefer to play
video
games
. It is best for killing time and the best refreshment for them.
On the other hand
, Playing
video
games
has some disadvantages too. Playing
video
games
too much makes us addicted to
games
and
this
may affect our daily routine. Various Studies show that Playing too many computer
games
causes physical damage and increases anxiety and depression. Historically speaking, children who are addicted to
video
games
have a high heartbeat and blood pressure
due to
too much excitement and stress.
Finally
,
This
essay
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
show examples
that playing
games
can boost our brains
while
playing too
much game
Fix the agreement mistake
many games
show examples
cause mental and physical problems. In my opinion, playing
video
games
for a short period of time will benefit children.
Submitted by bibekluitel758 on

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Specificity
Be wary of overgeneralizing statements without specific examples. For instance, when discussing the benefits or drawbacks of video games, incorporating concrete studies or statistics can bolster your argument.
Balance & Depth
Consider balancing the structure of your essay by dedicating equal attention to both the advantages and disadvantages of video gaming. This ensures a more balanced and thorough exploration of the topic.
Clarity & Precision
Mind the subtle nuances of sentence structure and word choice to enhance clarity. For instance: 'Most of the people have access to a computer.' could be written more clearly as 'Most people have access to computers.', and 'various studies show that' might be more precise with actual references or examples.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay excellently introduces the debate around video games, presenting both the positive aspects (such as cognitive benefits) and potential downsides (including addiction and health impacts).
Style & Tone
You effectively use a formal writing style suitable for an academic essay, adhering to appropriate conventions and vocabulary. This strengthens the overall readability and persuasiveness of your argument.
Structure & Flow
The logical structure of your essay, with clear progression from introduction through argumentation to conclusion, facilitates easy comprehension and retains the reader's engagement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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