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Writing Samples
Band 4

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevent.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevent.
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The modifications that will be made to the industrial area in the town of Norbiton as depicted
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the given picture chart. The information is calibrated in the form of pictorial representation.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature of the chart is that the area of factories will undergo several changes in the coming time period and a lot of developments will be noticed. Taking a cursory glance, it can be manifested that in the upcoming
plan
Add a comma
plan,
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 new roads will be constructed from the
round-about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
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to the north and north-west
direction
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 all the factories will be demolished to
built
Change the form of the verb
build
show examples
 new houses.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a new smaller
round-about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
show examples
 will
establish
Wrong verb form
be established
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 below the older one and near to it the establishment of
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
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 centre will take place
to
Change preposition
in
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 the
south-east
Correct your spelling
southeast
show examples
direction
Use synonyms
. Moving to
further
Linking Words
 details,
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the south-west
direction
Use synonyms
,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of shops will occur near the bigger circular path.
However
Linking Words
, the one factory to the east
direction
Use synonyms
 will be replaced by the school and near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 school will be a playground to the north-east
direction
Use synonyms
 for children to play.
Submitted by navkiranji on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words direction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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