Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. I would argue that video game my give the negative effect

#people #video #games #game #effect

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IN RECENT YEARS,

TECHNOGOLGY

Correct your spelling

TECHNOLOGY

HAS BEEN BECOMING MORE POPULAR AMONG

INDIVIDIALS

Correct your spelling

INDIVIDUALS

. FOR SOME REASON,

VIDEO

GAMES

BECOME PART OF OUR LIVES AND PEOPLE ARGUE ABOUT THE HARM OF

VIDEO

GAMES

. IN MY

OPINION

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OPINION,

show examples

THE NEGATIVE

EFFECT

Fix the agreement mistake

EFFECTS

show examples

CAN OUTWEIGH THE POSITIVE ONES.

HOWEVER

THIS

ESSAY WILL DISCUSS BOTH SIDES OF

VIDEO

GAMES

AND TRY TO DRAW A CONCLUSION. FIRST OF ALL,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

HIGH TECHNOLOGY AND TECHNIQUES OF

VIDEO

GAMES

ARE INCREASING DRAMATICALLY.

VIDEO

GAMES

Fix the agreement mistake

GAME

show examples

CREATORS CAN CREATE

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apply

show examples

AMAZING

GAMES

THAT

PUBLIC

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THE PUBLIC

show examples

TEND TO

Add a missing verb

BE ADDICT

show examples

ADDICT

Replace the word

ADDICTED

show examples

Change preposition

TO.

show examples

SPEACIALLY

Correct your spelling

SPECIALLY

, OVER HALF OF THE USER IS

CHILDREN

DUE TO

VIDEO

GAMES

Fix the agreement mistake

GAME

show examples

ADDICTION,

CHILDREN

CAN NOT CONTROL THEIR FEELINGS OR SPEND THEIR

FREETIME

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FREE TIME

PRODUCTIVE. THEY ARE SITTING BEHIND THEIR TABLE FOR A LOT OF TIME JUST PLAYING

GAMES

. WHEN

CHILDREN

ARE TOO ADDICTED

VIDEO

GAMES

PARENTS

DO NOT KNOW HOW TO STOP THEM.

IN ADDITION

THIS

, MOST IMPORTANTLY,

PARENTS

SHOULD KNOW THAT THEIR

CHILDREN

PLAYING.

FUTHERMORE

Correct your spelling

FURTHERMORE

THEY CAN PREVENT RISKS OR ANY BAD HABITS. ON THE INTERNET THERE ARE HUGE EFFECTIVENESS OF

VIDEO

GAMES

. THERE ARE VARIOUS TYPES OF

GAMES

. MOST LIKELY, YOUNG

CHILDREN

LIKE TO PLAY KILLING

GAMES

BECAUSE GETTING A SATISFACTION THEY NEVER HAD IN THEIR REAL LIFE. AS THE DAMAGE OF KILLING

GAMES

, ADDICTED

CHILDREN

LIKE TO PLAY

REAL

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WITH REAL

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KNIVES OR GUNS

THEREFORE

THERE IS

HIGH

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A HIGH

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CHANCE OF COMMITTING A CRIME ACCIDENTALLY. TURNING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ARGMENT, E-SPORT IS ONE OF THE SPORTS THAT

PARENTS

HAVE TO ALLOW. ALL AROUND THE

WORLD

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WORLD,

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THERE ARE TONS OF

CHILDREN

WHO ARE GETTING MONEY FOR PLAYING

VIDEO

GAMES

. ONE OF THEM HAS BECOME A

BILLIONARE

Correct your spelling

BILLIONAIRE

. THEY ARE PLAYING

VIDEO

GAMES

AND

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

STREAMING

Correct pronoun usage

THEM

show examples

THROUGH

THE

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

YOUTUBE, AND GETTING DONATIONS FOR THEIR FANS. SO THAT, IT IS A ONE WAY OF MAKING MONEY EASILY. ANOTHER ADVANTAGE OF PLAYING

VIDEO

GAMES

IS NETWORKING WITH FOREIGN PEOPLE.

THUS

, WHEN THEY ARE PLAYING THEY CAN

ALSO

LEARN NEW LANGUAGES OR NEW SKILLS AT THE SAME TIME. IN CONCLUSION,

VIDEO

GAMES

ARE REALLY FUN TO RELIEVE STRESS AND DEPRESSION, BUT IF

PUBLIC

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THE PUBLIC

show examples

GET ADDICTED

Correct your spelling

TOO

show examples

MUCH

AS WELL AS

THEY CAN GET STRESSED AND DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF THEIR SURRENDER. IN MYB VIEW OF

THIS

POINT,

CHILDREN

AND

PARENTS

HAVE TO KNOW THEIR LIMITS OF PLAYING

VIDEO

GAMES

UNLESS THEY WILL GET IN BIG TROUBLE. ALL

CHILDREN

ARE

IMPOSIBBLE

Correct your spelling

IMPOSSIBLE

TO BECOME

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

BILLIONARE

Correct your spelling

BILLIONAIRES

OR FIND A COST OF LIVING JUST

PLAYING

Change preposition

BY PLAYING

show examples

VIDEO

GAMES

Submitted by buyabuya201 on Wed Apr 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Try to provide a clear structure to your essay by ensuring that each paragraph presents a single idea or argument. This will make your essay more coherent and easy to follow.

grammar

Be mindful of spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. For instance, words should not be in all caps unless they are acronyms.

cohesion

Using transitional phrases like 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' can improve the flow of your essay and help bridge ideas between paragraphs.

vocabulary

Try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition of words and phrases. This can make your argument more compelling and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

example

Support your arguments with specific examples. While mentioning the potential for video game players to earn money was good, more varied examples could strengthen your position.

balanced argument

Provided a balanced view by discussing both the positives and negatives of video games.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points.

unique point

Mentioning the possibility of learning new languages and skills through gaming introduces a unique advantage of video games.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

394 words

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Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. I would argue that video game my give the negative effect

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

In some places lod age is valued , while in other culturals youth is considered more important . Discuss both views and give your opinion

News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they are older both in terms of their health and healthcare costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.