Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. I would argue that video game my give the negative effect

#people #video #games #game #effect

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IN RECENT YEARS,

TECHNOGOLGY

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TECHNOLOGY

HAS BEEN BECOMING MORE POPULAR AMONG

INDIVIDIALS

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INDIVIDUALS

. FOR SOME REASON,

VIDEO

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GAMES

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BECOME PART OF OUR LIVES AND PEOPLE ARGUE ABOUT THE HARM OF

VIDEO

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GAMES

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. IN MY

OPINION

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OPINION,

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THE NEGATIVE

EFFECT

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EFFECTS

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CAN OUTWEIGH THE POSITIVE ONES.

HOWEVER

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THIS

Linking Words

ESSAY WILL DISCUSS BOTH SIDES OF

VIDEO

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GAMES

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AND TRY TO DRAW A CONCLUSION. FIRST OF ALL,

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apply

show examples

HIGH TECHNOLOGY AND TECHNIQUES OF

VIDEO

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GAMES

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ARE INCREASING DRAMATICALLY.

VIDEO

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GAMES

Fix the agreement mistake

GAME

show examples

CREATORS CAN CREATE

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apply

show examples

AMAZING

GAMES

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THAT

PUBLIC

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THE PUBLIC

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TEND TO

Add a missing verb

BE ADDICT

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ADDICT

Replace the word

ADDICTED

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TO.

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SPEACIALLY

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SPECIALLY

, OVER HALF OF THE USER IS

CHILDREN

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DUE TO

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VIDEO

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GAMES

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GAME

show examples

ADDICTION,

CHILDREN

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CAN NOT CONTROL THEIR FEELINGS OR SPEND THEIR

FREETIME

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FREE TIME

PRODUCTIVE. THEY ARE SITTING BEHIND THEIR TABLE FOR A LOT OF TIME JUST PLAYING

GAMES

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. WHEN

CHILDREN

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ARE TOO ADDICTED

VIDEO

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GAMES

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PARENTS

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DO NOT KNOW HOW TO STOP THEM.

IN ADDITION

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THIS

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, MOST IMPORTANTLY,

PARENTS

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SHOULD KNOW THAT THEIR

CHILDREN

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PLAYING.

FUTHERMORE

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FURTHERMORE

THEY CAN PREVENT RISKS OR ANY BAD HABITS. ON THE INTERNET THERE ARE HUGE EFFECTIVENESS OF

VIDEO

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GAMES

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. THERE ARE VARIOUS TYPES OF

GAMES

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. MOST LIKELY, YOUNG

CHILDREN

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LIKE TO PLAY KILLING

GAMES

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BECAUSE GETTING A SATISFACTION THEY NEVER HAD IN THEIR REAL LIFE. AS THE DAMAGE OF KILLING

GAMES

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, ADDICTED

CHILDREN

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LIKE TO PLAY

REAL

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WITH REAL

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KNIVES OR GUNS

THEREFORE

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THERE IS

HIGH

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A HIGH

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CHANCE OF COMMITTING A CRIME ACCIDENTALLY. TURNING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ARGMENT, E-SPORT IS ONE OF THE SPORTS THAT

PARENTS

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HAVE TO ALLOW. ALL AROUND THE

WORLD

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WORLD,

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THERE ARE TONS OF

CHILDREN

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WHO ARE GETTING MONEY FOR PLAYING

VIDEO

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GAMES

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. ONE OF THEM HAS BECOME A

BILLIONARE

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BILLIONAIRE

. THEY ARE PLAYING

VIDEO

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GAMES

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AND

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apply

show examples

STREAMING

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THEM

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THROUGH

THE

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apply

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YOUTUBE, AND GETTING DONATIONS FOR THEIR FANS. SO THAT, IT IS A ONE WAY OF MAKING MONEY EASILY. ANOTHER ADVANTAGE OF PLAYING

VIDEO

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GAMES

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IS NETWORKING WITH FOREIGN PEOPLE.

THUS

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, WHEN THEY ARE PLAYING THEY CAN

ALSO

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LEARN NEW LANGUAGES OR NEW SKILLS AT THE SAME TIME. IN CONCLUSION,

VIDEO

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GAMES

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ARE REALLY FUN TO RELIEVE STRESS AND DEPRESSION, BUT IF

PUBLIC

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THE PUBLIC

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GET ADDICTED

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TOO

show examples

MUCH

AS WELL AS

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THEY CAN GET STRESSED AND DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF THEIR SURRENDER. IN MYB VIEW OF

THIS

Linking Words

POINT,

CHILDREN

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AND

PARENTS

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HAVE TO KNOW THEIR LIMITS OF PLAYING

VIDEO

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GAMES

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UNLESS THEY WILL GET IN BIG TROUBLE. ALL

CHILDREN

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ARE

IMPOSIBBLE

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IMPOSSIBLE

TO BECOME

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apply

show examples

BILLIONARE

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BILLIONAIRES

OR FIND A COST OF LIVING JUST

PLAYING

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BY PLAYING

show examples

VIDEO

Use synonyms

GAMES

Use synonyms

Submitted by buyabuya201 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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structure

Try to provide a clear structure to your essay by ensuring that each paragraph presents a single idea or argument. This will make your essay more coherent and easy to follow.

grammar

Be mindful of spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. For instance, words should not be in all caps unless they are acronyms.

cohesion

Using transitional phrases like 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' can improve the flow of your essay and help bridge ideas between paragraphs.

vocabulary

Try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition of words and phrases. This can make your argument more compelling and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

example

Support your arguments with specific examples. While mentioning the potential for video game players to earn money was good, more varied examples could strengthen your position.

balanced argument

Provided a balanced view by discussing both the positives and negatives of video games.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points.

unique point

Mentioning the possibility of learning new languages and skills through gaming introduces a unique advantage of video games.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

394 words

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Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. I would argue that video game my give the negative effect

Fully explain your ideas

Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What are the causes and effects of water pollution?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.