IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #impact #society
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In an ever-progressive society, AI is being innovated with the expectation of the ideal replacements
to
Change preposition
for
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 human
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
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 in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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. In light of
this
Linking Words
, the author
contend
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contends
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 that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon takes place
due to
Linking Words
 the increasing demand from the public
in
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for
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 life quality and is a positive change as it
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
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 global development. It is vital to understand that
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
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 of AI development deprives from social
request
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requests
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of
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for
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better
Add an article
a better
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 life.
In other words
Linking Words
, AI can automatically conduct
the
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apply
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industrial procedures without any human support. As the natural outcome of
this
Linking Words
, the industrial output, including product quantity and quality, will be enhanced and eventually fulfil the rapid-growth requirement
from
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of
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 the community.
Taking
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Take
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 Vinfast, an electricity car company, as a remarkable instance since started implementing robots into producing processes,
the
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apply
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product distribution
have
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has
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 been widened globally. In regard
of
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to
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 social impact, it is evident that the promotion of global innovation
bring
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brings
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 to us various positive changes. To be specific, artificial intelligence
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 get rid of physical limitations better than
human
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humans
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,
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moreover
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moreover,
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 robots are very supportive in helping scientists
solving
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solve
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 some complex math.
As a result
Linking Words
, robot existence in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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 not any
tightening
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tightens
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
consuming
Verb problem
apply
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but
also
Linking Words
reinforcing
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reinforces
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 scientific progress, which can produce more efficiency and
global
Correct article usage
a global
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break through
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breakthrough
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. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
 statement, think about BioC, a medical company from France, all the scientists here only focus on experimenting
from
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with
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 the data given by AI, because all the work tasks
such
Linking Words
 as
clarify
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clarifying
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 DNA,
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and identify
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identify
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identifying
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number
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a number
the number
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 of cells are completed by robotic factors. Taking all points into account, it is clearly demonstrated that the higher and higher
request
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requests
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 from the globe force AI to
be appear
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appear
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 in workplaces.
However
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 evidence that
this
Linking Words
 will bring various benefits as it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
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break through
Correct your spelling
breakthroughs
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.
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Introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic for a stronger start.
Clarity
Break down complex ideas into simpler, more understandable sentences to enhance clarity.
Cohesion
Incorporate transitional phrases between paragraphs to smoothly guide the reader through your arguments.
Grammar
Pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and consistency in tense usage to improve the overall quality of the essay.
Sentence Variation
Use varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and dynamic.
Supporting Examples
Made good use of specific examples to support main points, enhancing the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
Topic Understanding
Showed a clear understanding of the topic by discussing both the reasons behind AI and robotics in workplaces and their impact.
Logical Structure
Successfully maintained a logical structure throughout, making your arguments easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
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